Lubbock Businesses Engage In Whimsical War Of Words Via Marquee Boards

LUBBOCK, TX — Even residents of Lubbock will conceded there's not much to do in the city located in the northwestern part of the state. Which is why an ongoing war of words between two businesses located next to each other via their marquee boards has become the hottest ticket in town.

It all started innocently enough about a month ago, when workers at Pure Water Ice and Tea Company welcomed a local sports legend with a public invitation for free refreshments during his stop, as Eater and other news outlets have reported. “Kliff Kingsbury” — the town’s local football hero — drinks here for free!” the marquee invitation read.

Not content to let that stand, the Wendy's across the street upped the ante, offering the gridiron star something more substantive: “Hey Kliff, hungry and thirsty? We got you.”

The tea people didn't sit idly by with their pinkies aloft while sipping on their concoctions. After knocking Wendy's for their copy-cat invite, Pure Water threw down the gauntlet, and the two businesses are now engaged in an all-out war of words that have the locals driving past just to catch the latest marquee missives.

Spectators have taken to documenting the war on words on social media for the masses outside of Lubbock. It's all in good fun, of course, but some of the jabs are quite searing. Considering the coarsening rhetoric in the political arena these days, you might call this an alternative war of words with a dash of whimsy.

"Anything you can brew we can brew better," one recent Wendy's sign said in a crafty plug of their Fruitea Chillers offering. "You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, Wendys!" came the stern reply.

Wendy's later came back with a metaphoric jab to the solar plexus: "Wendy's parking only," the sign began. "Violators will be served Pure Water." Oh no, you di'int, Pure Water officials replied: "Good thing our tea is stronger than your sign game," they responded.

That bit of weak tea prompted this observation: "Burgers aren't the only thing square at Wendy's," followed with "Everyone knows Wendy's squares up. You ain't 'bout that life."

The sign war has yielded some real entertainment in Lubbock, a laid-back, sleepy little town of just more than 240,000 residents memorialized in a 1980 Mac Davis hit reflecting on his youthful desire to leave for bigger and better things: "I thought happiness was Lubbock Texas in my rear view mirror," Davis warbled at the time. "My mama kept calling me back but I didn't want to hear her."

The song's protagonist later explains his longing to return after being chewed up and spit out by the big city for which he longed in the unchecked ambition of his youth. "And now I sleep a little better at night, and when I look in the mirror in the morning light, the man I see was both wrong and right," Davis reflects in song. "He's going home again."

Judging from the comments of delighted spectators of the sign spat on social media, some might be inclined to stick around to catch the next round of battling banter. While some residents might also be secretly plotting their exit from Lubbock one day, the faux fracas is making their stay eminently more tolerable and highly entertaining.

>>> Photo of downtown Lubbock, Texas, by Brad Johnson via WikiMedia Commons