Sex Sensibility and Body Positivity: Let's Really Talk About It

According to Wikipedia, Body positivity is defined as a social movement focused on the acceptance of all bodies, regardless of size, shape, skin tone, gender, and physical abilities, while challenging present-day beauty standards as an undesirable social construct. Proponents focus on the appreciation of the functionality and health of the human body, rather than its physiological appearance.

This is definitely not the case, but we'll get into that later.

Sensibility refers to an acute perception of, or responsiveness toward something, such as the emotions of another. When is it most important, in an interpersonal way, to be acutely perceptive and responsive to the emotions of another? Yes, during sex. In this context, Sex sensibility is all about taking the insecurities or “flaws” of your partner and (a) ignoring them as “deal-breakers” altogether, as a way of life, every day of your life, (b) finding the beauty in those perfect “imperfections” and not attributing redeeming qualities to your partner to compensate for (what essentially amounts to) their natural beauty and (c) NEVER shaming for being too fat, too old, too skinny, too tall, too short, too dark, too pale, too tatted, too disabled, too masculine or too feminine in physicality.

REALLY be body positive, in the light, as well as the dark. Do not just fetishize or fantasize. Speak up when you hear someone say something that promotes a negative body image, such as “I like you better blonde”. I’d reply with “I like you just the way you are, brunette works for you”, for example.

See the Human Body as a work of art; every person, a sculpture. Perfectly molded and shaped in the way their maker intended. Cherish and adore every curve. Study the natural movements of your partner. How does she move when she’s doing her morning make-up routine? How does his pectorals protrude when he shaves?

These are only a few landmarks by which you can assess whether or not you are the least bit body positive.

There are many ways to show your support for body positivity while still maintaining your standards and personal preferences, as well. That is to say you can be a supportive ally in whatever phase of life a person is in, regardless of your preferences, as long as there is no shaming involved. It is important to note here that there are many myths surrounding body positivity (which is more than a movement, by the way) and we are going to debunk those right now.

MYTH (1) Body positivity is a social movement.

Body positivity is not a social movement. BLM is a social movement, Asian Hate is a social movement, even Obamacare is considered by some a social movement. However, a social movement, body positivity is not. Body positivity is a belief system, a culture, a way of life. Moreover, it is the way to just be a decent human.

MYTH (2) Proponents focus on the “appreciation of the functionality and health of the human body" instead of its "physiological appearance."

The truth is proponents focus on the appreciation of the functionality and health of the human body, as well as its physiological appearance. To assert that one has to focus on the appreciation of functionality rather than physical appearance is, by definition, counterintuitive to the entire notion of body positivity. It is the physiological appearance of the body that contributes to the differences that are celebrated. Why, then, would we focus on appreciating the human body’s functionality without appreciating the human body, itself?

MYTH (3) Body Positivity is all about being fat and accepting yourself.

It is true, a positive self image is the “positivity” in body positivity. However, that “positivity” extends to those on the opposite end of the spectrum as well, and all those in between. Plainly, body positivity is for every person; the skinny, the fat, the short, the bald, the hairy, the def, the blind and amputees. Ageism is huge for the body positive. There are women who still have much to give in the sexual department once they feel comfortable and physically appreciated. Many more than are given credit for in today’s society. These women have not plateaued as we men do. They are in their prime at a certain age and remain there for the duration, or at least until they are not physically capable anymore and thus lose interest. This is a fact.

MYTH (4) Body positivity only refers to women.

To submit that body positivity and sex sensibility only applies to women is to say that flying only applies to chickens. As plentiful as species of bird, are the issues that men also face like dysmorphia, bulimia, and anorexia, and at a higher rate than expected. The top 2 issues facing men are gynecomastia and ED. Every time a woman says to a man “don’t worry, it happens to every man, you just need to relax”, she is being body positive.

By Daryl K. Jones