SXSW Crowds Don't Go For Tacos, BBQ Like Texans Do (Gasp!)

AUSTIN, TEXAS — When people come visit Texas, one assumes they come to sample the Mexican food given the culinary tradition and the state's roots to Mexico. Municipalities often foment intercity food wars, as recently seen in a spat (albeit tongue in cheek) between Austin and San Antonio officials arguing over who has the best breakfast tacos.

Barbecue falls into this emblematic culinary staple too. Grill masters are lionized in these here parts as something akin to fire-handling gods of a kind, rock stars in their own milieu. Skimishes break out over which Texas city has the best barbecue too, and publications with the temerity of assembling "best barbecue" lists in order of quality — notwithstanding the subjective nature of such reckoning — are attacked and harassed by natives with an uncommon intensity long after their rags are published.

While barbecue and Mexican food is delicious — some of us locals indulging in both culinary staples as part of our regular diets — tastes have changed, and the collective palate is now much broader. According to the food delivery service Grubhub, the hordes of tourists descending upon our city don't gravitate to the tacos and barbecue we exalt as if they were emblems on our family crest.

Rather, tourists go for other food offerings other than tacos and BBQ — things like drunken noodles, pork dumplings and falafels. "Heresy!" some of you are doubtless exclaiming. "Those heathens! Philistines!"

Relax, cowboy. Tastes change. Those evolving tastes are illustrated in the Grubhub findings, tracking to top food orders during February and March dating back to 2017. Tacos still make the list, but not as the top culinary go-to. Tortilla soup, another regional staple, ranks highly on the Grubhub list. But (make sure you're sitting down before reading this) barbecue is nowhere to be found on the list of top five foods.

Them's fightin' words (findings)! Who are these people with their odd tastes and preferences?!?!

The research illustrates the culinary divide between us Texans and tourists. In fact, Grubhub found the following to be the top foods ordered in February and March by the hungry throngs of visitors this time of year:

1. Drunken Noodles (February), Pork Dumplings (March).

2. Falafel, Tortilla Soup.

3. Tacos, Samosa.

4. Philadelphia Roll, Boneless Wings.

5. Bacon Cheeseburger 5. Vegetable Rolls

In assembling what is an odd-looking, otherwordly list to some of us represents the top food orders during February and March in 2017, 2018 and 2019, Grubhub assured a bewildered and confused Patch. "Tourists enjoy similar cuisines but prefer wings over burgers, dumplings over noodles, and tortilla soup over Austin's beloved tacos!" Grubhub officials noted. "Restaurants offering should get prepared for higher demand and anomalies in food orders!"

Those are their exclamation points, not ours. Grubhub researchers are either as befuddled bythe findings as we are or adding the punctuation mark in equal amazement or as a lingustic in-your-face tactic. We're not sure.

Stick to your exotic foods, tourists. Some of us will continue to reach for our tacos and barbecue right here in Texas, and that's for darn tootin. Of course, those drunken noodles and pork dumplings ares quite delicious. And don't get us started on the vegetable rolls that are just to die for! And OMG the falafels! The falafels, I say!

Sorry, fellow Texans. That was a moment of weakness after recent samplings, and it won't happen again. Now let's go get some tacos!

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