Aging as a Return to Youth

Aging involves a slow return to youth, not in body but in spirit. The child grows into adulthood, while the adult matures into a second childhood. However long their faculties remain, the elderly are wise children, with a clear vision of what does and does not matter. They have much to teach their children, as well as those willing to take the time to visit and listen to them.

I remember visiting a nursing home during a special “Circus Day.” The first thing that greeted me was a tan Shetland pony. She was being led around the day room by her master, while residents on foot and in wheel chairs stroked her. The pony’s big brown eyes were gentle; she seemed to be enjoying the attention, though with a hint of caution.

Not to be outdone, from one of the corridors burst forth a large black dog on a leash manned by a girl perhaps ten years old. It seemed no one could get past that dog without being licked by an approving tongue that appeared to operate on its own.

I noticed twin girls carrying kittens around to be petted and held by willing residents. The girls, around eight years old, seemed psychically connected, for as they moved around the day room, they smiled and effervesced at almost the same time, as if on cue. The girls were even more affectionate toward the elderly than the kittens; it was uplifting to watch those girls brighten up face after face.

One woman in her eighties, holding on to her walker as she carefully prepared to sit down, was suddenly engulfed by these twin girls, who no longer had their kittens. First one then the other hugged the woman tightly and said, “I love you.” I assumed they were her great-grandchildren. But she told me, aglow with a warmth only a child’s hug can spark, “I never got to have children, so it sure feels good when they do that.”

Watching the children and elderly interact, it became clear how much they have in common. They share a natural bond with one another; they connect immediately. Children readily respond to the unconditional acceptance, the understanding, the patient attention and unabashed appreciation the elderly so readily bestow on them. The elderly warmly respond to the enthusiasm and spontaneity, the awe and joy that children so freely radiate, to say nothing of their adorable freshness. The children are just beginning what the elderly are just ending. Each seems to want to say to the other, “Life is fun. Enjoy it!”

They also have youth in common. As we approach the end of our days, the wonder of youth returns, the sense of mystery, adventure and anticipation. The elderly appreciate children and childhood in ways that overburdened adults have neither the time nor leisure to take in. An elderly person is after all a young person with something wrong with his or her body. An elderly person has rediscovered the essence of life that youth grasps innately: daily life is all there is, and all that really matters. Never put off until tomorrow the joy you can share today.