Dallas Fan Hopes Cowboys Win Super Bowl LII, Adds Extra 'I' To Ill-Advised Tattoo

DALLAS, TX — Regerts, he's had a few but then again, tattoo to mention.

Dallas resident Jordan Garnett has altered a retrospectively ill-advised tattoo that read "Super Bowl LI Champions" beneath a Dallas Cowboys logo. The alteration consists of an added "I" to the permanent body marking, at once expressing boundless optimism that his team will reach the Super Bowl next season even if his December tattoo proved not to be prophetic.

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly,” Garnett declared on his Twitter account in telling the world of his editing, accompanied with a photo of his altered arm tattoo. "I know 100%. I had a vision! @dallascowboys SUPER BOWL 52 CHAMPS!"

This past Sunday, the Dallas Cowboys lost to the Green Bay Packers at the AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, in a 34-31 squeaker that sent many a fan of the self-dubbed "America's Team" crying in their collective beer. Garnett was reportedly sober the month before when he decided to alter the landscape of his arm flesh with the tattooed headline of a Cowboys victory, unlike countless new fans of body art who enter the culture with some liquid courage.

But after the Cowboys' loss came a sobering reality, namely that "Super Bowl LI Champs!" tattoo to which he had already committed. The world will now have to wait until next season to see if Garnett secures vindication and avenges himself against those on social media who have relentlessly ridiculed his choice of expression.

Perhaps if Garnett hadn't been so public with his tattooed prediction, or so exuberant in his confidence, the taunting would've been minimal.

But no: "Hey Dallas Cowboys! Now it's official," he said after getting the now-infamous "LI" version of his original marking. "Don't let me down. SUPER BOWL 51 CHAMPIONS!!! Tattooed on 12/6/16. I'm calling it now," he continued with palpable team pride.

Making fun of people who get ill-advised tattoos or those containing typographical errors has become something of a national pastime, not unlike the practice of getting tattoos itself. There's a funny commercial for the chocolate bar "Milky Way" that depicts the latter scenario, promoting the idea that the treat is so good as to drive people to distraction. Instead of "No Regrets," the burly actor in the commercial gets a "No Regerts" mantra on his arm.

Before the now mutually uncoupled pair of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, some of us of a certain age remember when Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder were dating. They were like the "Brangelina" of our day except that we weren't merging celebrities names back in the day ("JohnWino? WinoDepp?"). To declare his love, Depp is reported to have inked "Winona Forever" on his arm, only to be stuck with the tattoo after their breakup.

In a story that might be apocryphal, Depp altered the message to read "Wino Forever," proudly declaring his love of adult beverages if not for his former paramour.

A particularly memorable slide show by Heavy.com a few years back presented dramatic examples of tattoo typos: A tough-looking dude from Chicago stuck with "Chi Tonw" in large font size on his breast plate; a lady with "Only God Will Juge Me" scrawled permanently on her back; the fan of the dramatic arts who chose the mask symbols depicting comedy and drama but didn't leave it at that and added the unfortunate cutline "Tradgey" and "Comedy" as added explanatory tattooed note; the Clemson University grad who's year of graduation was inked prominently as 1889 rather than 1989.

And so on. But back to Dallas. Here's hoping, for Garnett's sake, that the Cowboys do win next season. There's not much room left there for more editing, and, to our knowledge, there's no alternate words to be formed beginning with "Lii."

What's more, the Roman alphabet is rather unforgiving in terms of yielding future edits. Assuming the Cowboys are unsuccessful next year, Garnett will be forced to enter into "LIV" territory in making future predictions, and then the fleshy gap between the numerical reference and the word "Cowboys" becomes negligible at best.

But let's end this on a high note, shall we? Enjoy the music, and forget we ever said anything about this.

>>> Image of tattoo created via makesweet.com