The Fear of Success

The fear of success can be as potent as the fear of failure. We usually focus on the latter as our reason for not taking the risks necessary either to succeed or fail at something that, though important, seems beyond our ready reach. We understand failure better than success; we prepare more readily for failure than success. Success is rarer than failure, for most of humanity.

We think failure will be harder on us than success. We look at what we don’t want to happen rather than what we do. We therefore invite failure in, as if to say, “You may as well come while I am looking for you; I know you’ll eventually show up, anyway.”

We think how humiliating it is to fail, how deflating and defeating. Our culture values winners, not losers. Name which teams lost the last five Super Bowls, or the runners-up at last year’s major golf tournaments. Thus we decide it is better to not attempt to do what we want to do rather than to fail and look bad to our family, friends and community.

On the flip side of the fear of failure is what we examine less often: the fear of success. We may wonder, why would we fear success? Rather than deflating and defeating, success can generate stress and pressure. What if success doesn’t bring us happiness; what if it only makes us lonelier? Above all, if you should “get there,” how long can you stay? Isn’t failure after preliminary success even more embarrassing than never to have succeeded at all?

In my years as a pastor, I had effective sermons and those that, well, were less effective. When I did appear to connect vividly with my congregation, as great as that is, I had to do it all over again the next Sunday. Yet you cannot successfully preach a sermon while trying to attain the same convicting intensity as the previous week. If you seek to do so, you will be more focused on measuring up to what happened before than sharing the message that is currently on your heart.

One of the greatest operatic tenors of all time, Enrico Caruso, died too young, and while on stage. After he attained his fame, he said sadly, “Everybody gets to sing as they are; I have to sing like Enrico Caruso.”

In a recent small group meeting, we discussed both the fear of failure and the fear of success. We did so in the context of what stops us from taking risks. At first we looked at the fear of failure as the major culprit. That is usually what shows its ugly head first. Then I brought up the fear of success, and to the surprise of most participants, the fear of success ended up being the more powerful barrier to overcome.

For the majority of us, it’s easier to eat some humble pie, than to withstand the pressure of continuing to succeed, once that expectation is in place for the significant others of our lives. They are the ones it is difficult to fail in front of; they are the ones you want to receive permission to fail, should that occur. It is, however, difficult to voice those concerns.

What you need to voice are positive self-affirmations. Not only affirmations about your capacity to succeed, but also about your capacity to endure failure. Trust that you will have future opportunities to succeed or fail. What matters most is to do your best, and to enjoy the process, regardless of the outcome.