Gifts Can Come in Surprising Places

Gifts can come in surprising places. You just need to be ready to recognize, accept and appreciate them when they come. This can be all the more difficult when you were planning on paying for something that another decides to give you as a gift.

In a long-planned, long-awaited trip to Italy some time back, I was offered an unexpected gift in an unexpected place. So unprepared was I that I almost refused to recognize, let along accept the spontaneous gesture of another.

It was at a coffee-bar in Bologna, in a large square next to the city’s major cathedral, the “Duomo.” We had been looking here and there throughout our vacation for some espresso cups and saucers for a family member. The right ones finally showed up in that coffee-bar, the ones that were being used for customers, hand-painted sturdy delights.

There were three young men working behind the counter. After gaining the attention of one of them, and through the help of an Italian dictionary, I asked him if we could purchase some of their espresso cups and saucers. He turned to discuss it animatedly with the others.

Looking back at us with seeming mild indignation, he waved his hands and head back and forth, as if to indicate this was not possible. Somewhat embarrassed for an evidently unappreciated question, we turned to leave.

Yet as we moved away he motioned us back with a different head and hands gesture. Apparently we were not yet communicating with each other. The young man began saying the same Italian word over and over again, wanting us to understand him. I pulled out the dictionary and he smiled, took it, opened to the page and put his finger under the word: “regalo,” which means “gift.”

I looked at him incredulously—and he looked back at me just as incredulously. My nonverbal statement to him was, “How could you simply give me this as a gift?” And his seemed to be, “How can you have a problem if I want to simply give you this as a gift?”

He turned and disappeared into the backroom. No knowing what to do, we ordered two espressos. They came, we paid and drank them. Nothing happened; no one spoke; that young man did not reappear. We wondered whether we were supposed to take with us souvenir-like the two espresso cups and saucers we had just used. That did not seem right—and it would have been a bit messy.

Again we determined to leave, wondering what the “regalo” exchange had been about. As we prepared to leave, the young man reappeared, and handed me a box containing six pairs of espresso cups and saucers, which he had stacked neatly together to prevent breakage.

Beaming, again he said “regalo.” I wanted to give him a tip for his gift, and wondered whether he would accept it. Reaching toward some money on the counter, I looked at him and asked, “regalo?” With short, serious face and hand gesture, he said “No!”

I said one of the few expressions I know of Italian, “Grazie, molto grazie,” or “Thank you, thank you very much.” I told him we would never forget him and his regalo. Gifts are treasured far more than purchases. And when they come, albeit unexpectedly, be prepared to accept them with the same graciousness as they were offered.