Kindness is not Random

There is nothing random about an act of kindness. Such acts may be spontaneous and selfless, but they are certainly not random. Random implies arbitrary, fickle, capricious, and almost non-intended. Yet acts of kindness spring from that mysterious well of human goodness which is dug deep into every human heart. It constitutes our innate potential for doing good, a potential the existence of which must not be denied in another.

A decision of the will precedes an act of kindness, whether consciously made or not. One decides to take the time do what is right, what is best; one determines to be civil, to show caring by doing good for another. Deeds of kindness are themselves pleasing to the doer; in their gentle way, they represent small oases of grace in this world’s growing desert of incivility.

Kindness is sensitivity in action, caring made visible. Kindness disarms us, in two ready ways: it walks right through our defensiveness, and it touches our hearts directly. Kindness reminds us that goodness is still alive, that there is still hope for the human race. Kindness repairs the potholes cruelty and indifference gouge on the paths between us; it offers a bridge to community. Kindness is understanding, unassuming, understated and unannounced.

There are two basic approaches to doing acts of kindness. The first is to wait until we feel kindly toward others, and then to act on those feelings. The second is to go ahead and act kindly toward others regardless of our feelings; indeed, it is often only after so doing, that we come to feel kindly. The second way better serves humanity, and better builds character. Yet many of us prefer to operate from the first than the second way. So there may be long stretches of time between our doing an act of kindness.

Doing an act of kindness affects our hearts as surely as doing an aerobic exercise affects our bodies. Once a person is in relatively good condition, he or she can enter into what is called the “second wind,” when endorphins are secreted at the synapses or connectional bridges between nerve cells. These endorphins are powerful anti-pain, anti-depressant peptide hormones which make us feel much better, both physically and mentally. Even if we didn’t feel very good before exercising, by the time we’re finished we feel significantly better. Our bodies thank us; they reward us for such exercise.

The same principle holds true for acts of kindness: they release a powerful, if unnamed substance into our hearts which makes us feel much better, actually nourishing and strengthening our hearts. If our energy level is low, if we’re down on life and ourselves, if our hearts stand in need of a “second wind,” we need only do a few acts of kindness. The nutrients we crave will be released into the hidden network of the soul, reviving us, bringing us joy.

You may wonder: “What is an act of kindness? When am I actually helping another, and when am I merely meddling? What can I do, anyway?” When you don't know what to do, you will likely do little or nothing. To learn what to do, apply the golden rule: do those acts of kindness to others that you want others to do to you. Greater sensitivity to yourself generates greater sensitivity to others. Kindness begins within you, towards you.