Life is Full of Interruptions

Life is full of interruptions. Mine sure has been. Years ago, I came to the realization that interruptions are the norm rather than the exception in my work. I came to accept them, and in so doing I learned to be at peace with the things that come out of left field, come when you least expect them, come with such insistence as to require that you drop everything else and attend to them. Expect them, rather than getting upset when they come your way, typically out of the blue.

The most common interruptions are those which come during a conversation. In my life experience, the Middle West seems a bit better than the East Coast as regards interrupting. Conversations seem to move more slowly here, with people giving each other a little more linguistic space. The East Coast culture moves at a faster pace, and you learn that to enter a conversation, you may well just have to burst in, because no one will give you the room to speak otherwise.

It is sort of like changing lanes in New York City. I discovered through observing others while driving in New York what you must do to change lanes, since others will rarely slow down to let you in. You just have to nudge your car into the lane, where one of two things will happen: the other will hit you or let you in. Needless to say, the timing is important! Generally speaking, they will let you in, if for no other reason than that is what they have to do themselves.

There are different kinds of interruptions in conversation. People tend to interrupt for two primary reasons: they want to respond to something you are saying, or they want to change the subject to something they want to talk about. In the first instance they are at least listening to you, even if not necessarily to all you want to say. In the second instance, they may be brushing aside what you are attempting to say, and you in the process.

It is frustrating not to feel allowed to finish what it is you want to say, to have another want to dialogue about this or that point. If you must discuss each interrupted point, you may not get to what you most want to say. Of course, you could start with your main point, and if time is afforded you, continue to describe how you arrived there.

It is however just as frustrating to be told to wait until the speaker determines they are finished before being permitted to respond, especially if several points are made and you are expected to respond to each one of them, or if you forget what you wanted to say, or if what you wanted to talk about previously now seems not to be the subject for the other, though it still is for you. That has happened to me frequently: the subject has moved on, though I have not.

Interruptions need not be upsetting or conversation-ending. You can treat them graciously. Calmly say something like, “I’m not finished yet,” or “please let me finish,” or “let’s come back to that in a minute.”

The question is, do you want lively interchanges, fluid conversations, or collective monologues with persons taking turns voicing their soliloquies, but with little actual discussion or interaction? There is a time for both. But as for me, being originally from New York City, I especially enjoy lively interchanges. It’s worth a few interruptions along the way.