The Problem of Responsibility

Sooner or later, we all have to take responsibility for our own lives. Granted, there are things beyond our control, for which we are not responsible, such as our family of origin. Yet at some point, we have to take charge of our lives, and assume responsibility for our actions. Doing so is an essential part of growing up.

Responsibility can generate energy, but it can also drain energy away. Responsibility can lead to gratitude for a task well done, but also to guilt-laden regret. No wonder then that we tend to fear responsibility as much if not more than we seek it. It is easier and more comforting to blame others than ourselves for our situation. With responsibility comes accountability; and with accountability comes judgment, be it toward reward or rebuff.

It is a common characteristic of humanity to want to “pass the buck.” We see this already playing out in the story of Adam and Eve, the purported first humans. After both of them had eaten the forbidden fruit, God confronted them. And clearly, neither wanted to take responsibility for their disobedient actions. The narrative, though succinct, is telling:

“He [God] said, ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?’ The man said, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she ‘gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate.’ Then the LORD God said to the woman, ‘What is this that you have done?’ The woman said, ‘The serpent tricked me, and I ate’” (Genesis 3:11-13).

Adam blamed the woman, and attempted to somehow include God as partly responsible, since God gave her to him. And then Eve claimed that the serpent “tricked” her into eating of it. God knew better and punished all three, right along with the rest of humanity.

The thing is, even if we seek to deceive others, including ourselves, about our responsibility, we nevertheless know what we have done at a deeper level. That is also where we may have to face the childhood sense of responsibility for things about which we are actually not responsible, such as the divorce of our parents.

The word “responsible” is derived from the Latin respondere, meaning to “promise or pledge back.” That is, someone says or does something, and we are to respond back with whatever form of promise or pledge we deem fitting. Then we will be held accountable to that person for whether and when and how well we fulfill our pledge.

Put differently, responsibility could also be termed “response-ability,” or the capacity to freely choose how to respond to the action of others and to whatever life presents us with. The reality is, we are responsible for our actions, but not necessarily for their consequences. This however flies in the face of the pressure put on us to be successful in life and love. Our culture is all about results, the product rather than the process. For instance, in my years as a pastor, I was judged not by my faithfulness to the Gospel, but by church attendance and the money given. This also set up competitiveness between pastors. Need I say that Jesus was not very successful in His earthly ministry? Though the short-term consequences of his ministry were negative, the long-term consequences include the salvation of multitudes beyond counting.

Let that sink in: you are responsible for doing the right thing, not for its consequences. That is a freeing realization.