A Time to Laugh and a Time to be Serious

There is a time to be serious and a time to laugh. Hopefully, there is a time for laughter every day, a time for letting go and letting out, a time to recognizing the humor showing itself in today. A day without humor is like a day without sunshine.

The question is, when is it a time that laughter is inappropriate? John Cleese of Monty Python fame said, “If you’re attacking a machine gun emplacement, it’s no time for jokes, pies in the face, or dropping your trousers to amuse the enemy; it’s time to get tough and get the job done. But when the job is done, you had better find something to laugh about, or spend some time relaxing and having fun. Otherwise, you’ll be attacking that machine gun emplacement for the rest of your life.”

Some things are really not funny, of course. Humorist C. W. Metcalf said, “If it happens to you, it’s funny; if it happens to me, it’s tragic.” Humor can be found in most things, later at least, once the pain, fear, or grief has subsided. For example, a cruise ship off Canada’s west coast recently swerved dramatically to avoid no one knows just what, or just why. Seventy-eight people were injured. Some were thrown out of the swimming pool! What a horrendous scene it must have been, but the time will come when passengers might find a bit hilarious the absurd memory of seeing someone flying out of that swimming pool, and humor will help to ease any post-traumatic stress.

When preparing to conduct a wedding, I would always tell the couple that if anything goes wrong, it will end up being something to laugh about later. And that has proven true most every time.

The ability to generate humor in the face of seriousness is a mark of mental health, and the failure to find humor in threatening situations can be an indication of dullness, rigidity, and maybe even mental illness. Persons who have a sense of humor are more flexible and relaxed in the face of potentially stressful situations. They are more imaginative and inventive, and far less likely to get bored or depressed. And they tend to be more enjoyable to have around.

It is most instructive that the root of the word humor itself is “umor,” which means fluid, like water. Thus, humor is a survival skill to relieve tension, keep us fluid and flexible rather than allowing us to become rigid and breakable, as we face relentless change.

Norman Cousins found that sustained laughter stimulates the release of endorphins, the body’s natural morphine. We feel better when we laugh, because endorphins actually diminish physical and psychological pain. Arthur Koestler said that laughter is a reflex that has no apparent biological purpose. It could be called a luxury reflex with the single function of providing relief from tension.

According to Metcalf, you need to develop three humor skills:

You must escape from the center of the universe. Life is not all about you, with everything being either your fault or nothing being your fault. It is easier to laugh at yourself and life’s absurdities when you are not at stage center.

Take yourself lightly and your work or problem seriously. If you take yourself too seriously, you won’t be able to laugh at yourself or your circumstances.

Misery and pain are free, but joy has a price. That means you need to develop a disciplined sense of joy in being alive.