The Anti-Valentine's Day Gift Guide

Teddy bears, flowers and chocolate roses aren't for everybody, but Valentine's Day doesn't have to be a cheesy celebration of all things heart-shaped. February 14 is for romantics and for realists, and it's A-OK if you just don't do sweet and sappy. Of course, everyone can appreciate a good gift — and that's where we come in.

We've rounded up the very best anti-Valentine's Day gifts for your pal, your special someone or yourself. From the practical to the pretty, these are the perfect presents for folks who don't buy into the holiday hype. Happy anti-Valentine's Day to all!

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Spunky Pineapple "Tequila Is My Valentine" Shirt
This cute and comfy shirt is sure to start some interesting conversations. Tequila forever — or until hangovers do you part.

The Presidential Dammit Doll
What's the opposite of a fluffy and cuddly stuffed animal? Why a presidential Dammit Doll, of course! This limited edition stress reliever will get giggles from members of every political party.

Danya B. Dachshund Bookend Set
Must Love Dogs is more than a rom-com — it's a way of life. This chic canine bookend set is fun, functional and perfect for the pup aficionado who likes literature, too.

Bushwick Kitchen Threes Knees Spicy Trio
This hot sauce trio strikes the perfect balance sweet, delicious and hot, hot, hot! Enjoy the Bees Knees Spicy Honey, Trees Knees Spicy Maple and Weak Knees Cochujang Sriracha — if you dare.

"Building My Empire" Mug
For the one who loves coffee and career building, you can't beat this aspirational mug.

Orchid Gene Maintenance-Free Venus Fly Trap
Roses are red, flowers are cheesy — keeping this plant alive, is ridiculously easy! Seriously, it's a completely self-sustaining terrarium you never have to water, feed or even place in direct sunlight. Just sit back and watch it grow — guaranteed.

Kate Spade New York Small Multi-Glitter Earrings
Whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly hasn't met these sparkly studs. They're just as fun and far more frugal than most of the gems that get tossed around this time of year.

Hamilton Beach Breakfast Sandwich Maker
Breakfast in bed is overrated. You worry about spills the whole time you're eating it and still end up with crumbs everywhere. We're all about this nifty kitchen gadget that lets you cook delicious breakfast sandwiches in under five minutes.

Chia Pet Bob Ross
Watching happy little chia seeds sprout on Bob Ross' head will paint a smile on anyone's face. Getting "hair" to grow in this handmade pottery planter is easy to do and even more fun to watch.

DuVino "Wine Is My Valentine" Novelty Wine Glass
It doesn't matter if your glass is half empty or half full — just keep on pouring the wine, and everything will be fine. Just kidding, always drink responsibly, but if you know someone who likes their vino, this glass makes a great gift.

"Bring Me Some Bacon" Dress Socks
Forget the sexy lingerie and get right to the point with these yummy "If you can read this, bring me some bacon" socks.

Herbivore Botanicals - Dead Sea Bath Salts (Calm)
Haven't you heard? Self-care is the new true love. So forget about a tub filled with rose petals — you want to take a relaxing bath with these calming, aromatic salts. Cleanse your body, clear your mind and be your own Valentine.

Related:

• The Best Valentine's Day Gifts For Her
• The Best Valentine's Day Gifts For Him
• Now's The Time To Shop For Valentine's Day Cards
• These Valentine's Day Candy Deals Are Too Sweet To Resist

All prices and savings listed in this post are as of publication and could change. Patch may earn a commission on some purchased items.