Mose Faulkner, Neighbor

Changes in life can be complicated and hard. Personally, I do not like change and highly adverse to it in the beginning. It is no surprise that I hated the fact that I would need to get surgery and would be carrying around ostomy supplies as well. I don't want to go into why I needed one because it was a very complicated topic, but the fact that I would also be carrying around an ostomy bag simply made me sad. Instead of being a terrible angry person, I want to help others to overcome what issues took me a while and what fears were totally not necessary.

Really the first thing that scared me was my own personal looks and image. I was absolutely afraid of how it would make me look forever. I knew that having an ostomy pouch was not going to be a beach benefit. The fear that overcame me was quickly turned into anger. It was simply the only emotion that I felt. It really was my problem, but the more I talk to other guys and also their wives I found out that this response was rather normal and that it caused a lot of problems. So now I try and talk to people as soon as possible about looks and what really happens. Yes you do have a stoma and it will be there forever, but there are lots of things you can do to look almost like you did before. Fashion has come to a long way and the technology of stoma caps and small bags can make going to the beach a really fun time.

No you don't need to give up your looks or fashion. That was what really hit me was the possibility of never being sexy again. I am a guy and this was one thing that really hit home. Going shirtless at the beach may scare people or myself and I didn't even want to fathom what could happen if things went wrong with my stoma in front of other people. Yes, that was a fear that went through my mind and my head and was quickly dissipated by talking to others who worked out regularly, looked like models and enjoyed the beach too.

One way that I now help people is to get them onto an Ostomy Social media circle. The Youtube Channels can instantly show them people who live similar lifestyles or even enviable lifestyles to try and live up to. The channels show normal people doing normal things and that is what is important. To me, I thought I would never be normal, and vacations would be ruined from here on out. The reality is that I was so far from the truth in my original thoughts and that there is so much hope and life yet to be lived normally.

The reality is that most people with a stoma live normal lives. They have to plan a little more when they go and do things, but that is really it. In some ways, life actually gets easier and road trips are most definitely one of them. I won't get into the details but I am pretty sure you can easily guess why. Stay safe out there and know that life is good and all is going to be OK.