Soccer Mom

Both my son and Coach B. read my previous entry and asked for the following clarifications:

• 1) Coach B. looks perfectly acceptable in a belly shirt.
• 2) My son is a very good soccer player.
• 3) Both of them are very well-liked by everyone on the team.
• 4) Coach B. does too know my son's last name.
• 5) He mispronounces it.
• 6) The team is actually undefeated so far this season.
• 7) Coach B. knows almost all the rules of soccer.

Thursday 1:00 p.m.

I'm pretty sure my son's soccer coach doesn't know some of the rules of soccer.  He may or may not know my son's last name.  The coach was almost forced to forfeit a game because he didn't notice that there were two kids with the number 35 out on the field at the same time.  He sometimes shows up late for practice and he wears a belly shirt left over from a time when he had much less belly.  Coach B. is kind of perfect.

I have a son who is autistic.  He is brilliant, funny, imaginative and strong.  In addition, he has a limited ability to identify social cues and will probably never have an instinctive ability to read facial expressions.  His entire mind is its own universe with very little room for the rest of us in it.  For a very long time he didn't miss our absence, but now he is a teen and he has begun to care that nobody calls him a friend. 

He doesn't get invited to birthday parties.  He doesn't text anyone.  He doesn't make plans to meet people anywhere and force me to drive the gang.  I wish he would.  However, last season, after having watched his younger sister play soccer and form close friendships with her teammates, he decided that he too wanted to play.  That's how we got the great coach.

Coach B. is great because he doesn't see any difference between my son and any other boy who is just okay at soccer.  Coach makes my son look him in the eye.  Coach puts my boy on the field and gives him rules to follow. 

"Don't let the guy get past you." 

"You need to be where the ball is going not where it was." 

"You're gonna need to run if you want to stop them from scoring."

I'm not sure how to ask my son about what feels normal for him, but playing for Coach B. is something he mentions when asked what he does. 

It's halfway through our second season.  My son goes to every practice and every game.  He waits his turn to play and comes out when summoned.  He's part of the team.  He cares about being on the team.  He talks to some of the other players.  His coach may not notice, but every game is a triumph for my kid. 

The team may not win every game, but my boy's undefeated.  Great coaches will do that.