Just Cause It’s The Playoffs…. Doesn’t Mean Take It Off

We have all been there and are probably there right now…. If your husband, boyfriend, significant other, or play mate hasn’t discussed this with you thus far you don’t have anything to worry about. If they have…. it’s time to step up your game. LADIES THE WASHINGTON NATIONALS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1933. Now you may be thinking, “Great…no more dates… unless they are in sports bars, no more TV privileges, and no more sexual encounters if they lose or the opposite wayyy more sexual encounters if they win. What’s in this for me?

However, excited or unexcited you may be for these series of games, they can bring you two closer together, a bonding experience if you will. This could be an excuse to make red jello shots….. and have all of his friends and girlfriends (who are in the same boat as you are) enjoy this play off season together.

Now if you’re saying, “I don’t really care about the Nationals but if it makes him happy blah blah blah.” Way to stay positive! Just beware, that you could surprise yourself and fall in love… I definitely have. This is a good opportunity to Ignite your Natitude and look fabulous doing it.

You don’t want to be “THAT GIRL,” that is playing 20 questions during the game, hammered, and looks.. well….for lack of a better word… like an idiot.”When’s this quarter ending?”  ”Oh he hit a Grand Slam? So does that mean like everyone can have The Grand Slam breakfast platter at Denny’ for free?” So ladies, listen up the time has come to hop on the Nats Band Wagon and enjoy the ride. There are some things you need to know before you attend a game or watch at home snuggling on the couch (here’s to wishful thinking.)

Welcome to Natsology 101 where you…. yes you will become a Nats loving fool like the rest of us.

Here is a breakdown of 25 players, positions, and nicknames.

Pitchers

17 Sean Burnett

36 Tyler Clippard

48 Ross Detwiler

56 Christian Garcia

47 Gio Gonzalez

51 Michael Gonzalez

32 Tom Gorzelanny

33 Edwin Jackson

52 Ryan Mattheus

35 Craig Stammen

22 Drew Storen

27 Jordan Zimmermann

Catchers

26 Jesus Flores

24 Kurt Suzuki

Infielders

20 Ian Desmond

8 Danny Espinosa

25 Adam LaRoche

1 Steve Lombardozzi

18 Chad Tracy

11 Ryan Zimmerman

Outfielders

2 Roger Bernadina (aka The Shark)

34 Bryce Harper

57 Tyler Moore

38 Michael Morse (aka The Beast)

28 Jayson Werth

There is nothing more embarrassing then saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Yes it might be funny…. and asking a dumb question isn’t bad every now and then but do not make this a habit. After a while it’s not cute… so just don’t do it. Here is a list of terminology that might help you understand the game a little better.

Homerun: A hit that allows the batter to make a complete run of the bases and score a run.

Double Play: The act of getting two players out.

No Hitter: When a pitcher allows no hits in the entire game.

Balls:  A pitch not swung at, not in the strike zone.

Strike Zone: The area over home plate through which a pitch must pass to be called a strike, roughly between the batter’s armpits and knees

Now for the most important part of the game. What on earth will you wear? My suggestion is a mixture between Code One and Code Two…. I call this.. wait for it…. CODE 1.5..

You have no Washington Nationals clothing? Sayyy WHAAA? Well you’re in luck their clothing is sold in plenty of stores and online.

You just don’t want to go overboard and look like you’re trying too hard to fit in. So no matter how cute the National’s paraphernalia is… you don’t need Nationals pants, shirts, sweat shirts, hats, socks, hair ties, and underwear. Ok ok.. You may need all of those items but don’t wear them all at once. It’s way too much too soon. Leave that for your one year relationship with the Nationals….. when things get serious .

Remember you don’t want to over or underdress. The object is to look cute, casual, and comfortable. The saying, “Less is more?” Or “If you’re ta ta’s ain’t hanging out you ain’t legit…” There are places and circumstances to which these rules can apply… the club….or boudoir (bedroom)…

At all cost ladies… avoid being a NATSTITUTE….

Natstitute: A fan that is that is inappropriately or provocatively dressed for the game.

Ex: Wearing a white tank top, shorts up your butt, and heels… when it is obviously cold outside and rain is inevitable. Everyone knows those shoes aren’t comfortable… Girl……. NATSTITUTE

Ex: Short tight dress…that you are consistently pulling down so your pink-a-choo isn’t exposed….. NATSTITUTE

Yes…. Yes… all of these outfits may be cute for another occasion but not a baseball game. Your breast and the curvature of your ass might be attractive but they don’t need to be exposed. Please remember there are children in the stadium and the only moon that should be shinning is the one in the sky.

As Coco Chanel would say, “A girl should be two things… classy and fabulous,” and not a NATSty NATStitute.

Love this blog? Want more? Follow me on www.whatsthenorm.wordpress.com