"Listen With Your Eyes!"

This is the line I heard on a parenting radio program this morning.

It came from the mouth of a 4 year-old boy to his mom. The mom was talking about how she manages her five kids and the needs that come with those kids. Boy I don't have FIVE, but two can certainly make you go nutty.

She explained how she was making dinner and helping one of the older kids do homework, while this four-year-old was trying to tell her a story. Sound familiar?

She went into her "Oh really? Uh huh. Yip. Oh, wow!" routine which generally satisfies even the most talkative toddler. Suddenly he got mad and said "Mom, you're not listening!" Of course she said she was. Then he retorted, "Listen with your EYES."

Kids say the darndest things don't they? My two sure do give me lots of food for thought in the most convicting moments.

This one-liner from the mouth of this baby really gave me a mind jerk this morning as I drove into work. So often my kids are trying to get my attention and in my mind there are more pressing things to do. [You can fill in your own list right here.]

My two-year-old does this by saying, "Mommy, watch this," and then does some silly jig or sucks his cheeks in to look like a fish. This scene repeats itself five or six more times and in my mind there's chores to get done, homework to start, nighttime computer work to get to. (Don't judge, I have serious amnesia about my non-stop talking days as a toddler.)

My four-year-old does this by asking me what things mean. "What does 'early' mean mommy?" "What does it mean when you say 'hazardous'"? Ok, you try to explain in simple terms what "early" means. :)

Intellectually I know that these moments I have with them as toddlers will pass by very soon, but in the day-to-day living, there's very little time for reflection or big-picture thinking. Yet I see the response I get from my kids when I do turn my head and body toward them as they are speaking. I also notice that they love it that I ignore the phone when they are talking. 

Something as simple as listening with your eyes may not have great currency in "big people" world, but in "toddler land" those sincere gestures have great value. It's not what I tell my boys that sticks in their hearts, but how I made the feel by giving them my attention when needed.

I am not from the school where your kids are your entire life and nothing gets done because the kids want Mommy. No, there is a healthy balance when a child is told to wait.

But there are those moments--we all know those moments--when you can see that all they need right now is to tell you a silly joke they just learned at school, or sing you the latest Justin Bieber song someone taught them (cringe factor).

If I can get this right it's just one more thing my boys can add to their toolbox for when they are parents.

Next post . . . "See With Your Ears!"

Just kidding :)

READING RESOURCES:

Positive Ways to Talk and Listen

A Listening Mother Helps Her Child Learn

Kids Learn More When Mom Is Listening

Active Listening In Parenthood