Soon To Be a Grandfather?

Hello All,

Long time, no see.  I was "reminded" that my readers were wondering what was going on with me.  I decided to kick off my 2012 (I know I'm three months into the year) with a sensitive and potentially controversial topic; when is the term "Grandfather" a valid one?  

Here is the situation:

I have a 19-year-old son that I rarely talk about, unless someone REALLY knows me well, and he is dating a young lady that is soon to give birth. Even though this child is not his, he has made the determination that he is going to raise the child as his own. Does this make me a grandfather?  Wait, before you answer, there's more. When my conversation originated about this girl/relationship, I asked him if he loved her, and his response was that he really "liked" her.  I implored him to re-think his choice, because it's difficult for me to raise MY kids that I adore, how much more difficult would that be if I didn't LOVE my wife?  How would stressful situations become if he had no "ties" to this child when he is not in love with the mother?  Now he "claims" he loves her now, but does he love her, or the thought of raising a child?  If so, does that make me a Grandfather?  HOLD ON!  There's more.

Although I do not mention this often, my oldest daughter is my step-daughter, but I have been "Daddy" since she was 2 (she turned 14 this past Sunday).  My father, who passed away over two years ago, never treated her any different than my biological kids.  Now my younger brother married a lady who has four kids and they had two more together.  My father treated those step-kids differently than the "actual George" kids, so did he make the choice on who could consider him Grandpop and which ones couldn't?

This is where my dilemma rests.  Even though I wanted to obey one of my father's last wishes prior to his passing (to have his biological grandkids, plus one listed in his obituary), I did not fully agree with it.  Am I thinking about pressing the same "rule" that my father did to my younger brother, by not considering myself a Grandfather to a child who's not my son's?  Would I do that to my daughters?  Would I decide that if they were dating a man that had their own children, would I allow them to call me Grandfather, even if I did not agree with the relationship?  Hopefully we will not get there ANY time soon, but this is about my son.  This is the same "man" that decided the FIRST tattoo he would get upon turning 18 his a name that he hold very true and dear to him; his STEPFATHER'S last name!  Now, if I was an absentee father, or one that did not want anything to do with him, I would fully understand the decision, but he could not give me a reason beyond "it's something that I wanted to do" answer.

Regardless of the slap in the face, should I still be willing to hold a Grandfather role?  Now the stepfather is there, active, and fully involved in my son's daily life, even allowing the girlfriend to stay with them, but should I allow to be called Grandfather?  Maybe a better question should be, will the child WANT to call me Grandfather?  I guess THAT will remain to be realized.

I hope for many of my family and friends to read, think, and comment. For those Facebook, Twitter and Patch followers, I look forward to an engaging conversation.  Until then, or my next blog, take care.