The Circle of Life: Adult "kids" living at home?

Babies are born…kids go to public school for 12 years… teens graduate high school… young adults attend college… then adults graduate college.  In between those 22 or so years, lots of things happen.  Learning to drive, learning to drink responsibility, navigating relationships with significant others, living with roommates, doing your homework, cooking your meals, budgeting your money; these are a few of the rituals of growing up that most of us go through.  Once college graduation is over, then the “real world” looms ahead. For most students, especially those who chose a major in liberal arts, employers are not pounding on the door offering jobs with great salaries and benefits.  Thus you have the relatively “new” phenomenon of grown children moving in with their parents. Whether for a month, a summer or a year; this can cause great disruption on everyone’s lifestyle.

 Parents, exhausted after years of parenting, finally have had four years of relative peace and quiet.  Other than the occasional visits home, telephone or texting messages of encouragement during stressful semesters, and the goodie boxes of treats mailed out during mid-terms and finals; parents have been free of the day-to-day worrying and wondering about their almost grown children.  

Students too are glad to live on their own.  Many are exhausted after years of “helicopter parents” who obsess over every test and essay.  After being shuttled from one extracurricular activity after another to get into the perfect college, college students can now do what they want, outside of parents prying eyes. Curfews and restrictions are non-existent, and what a relief to finally make your own decisions!

Then after graduation- no dorm, no meal plan, no money, no job.  Back to the old room, still full of high school mementoes, clothes and shoes that didn’t quite make the cut for college, and probably a few stuffed animals.  Suddenly where you are going and who you are going with becomes a daily question.  No longer just a guest in your house during spring break, treated like visiting royalty. Now you are expected to cook meals, do your laundry and contribute to the household. 

This blog will be about what happens when you graduate college and move back home to find a job and get a life.  I am the parent of a recent college graduate and a little bit worried about having an adult relationship with my child.  How to let her grow up and be responsible, without worrying every night about what time she will come home.  How to let her make her own decisions, but know when the time is right to give an opinion… how to encourage her to live on her own, but to stop her from making impulsive decisions. . How to let her make mistakes and learn…but making sure she always has a safety net to fall back on.  Four years ago I dropped off a teenager at college, and today an adult is moving back into my house…and sleeping with her teddy bear.  How will this work out?