Your Boy and Porn - He’ll See It By Age 10!

The question about porn is the Teen Boy Question of the Ages – what to do?  I happen to think that porn is not a good idea for anyone – in particular teenage boys. The average age a kid sees internet pornography is 10.5.

Have you had the porn talk? It’s time.

According to The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, boys say they learn more about sex from porn than from their parents. Ick.

The problem is that their brains are still developing and what they can see in terms of sexual activity can be way more than they can handle emotionally. It feels good to see sexually stimulating images, but the kind of images one can access on the internet go beyond merely sexually stimulating.

The internet has been called “the crack cocaine” of pornography because it is so easily consumed and highly addictive. With your teen’s brain still developing, and along with it their sexuality, porn can mess things up.

Because they have seen fake sex, with fake partners, when they get the real thing, it’s disappointing because it doesn’t fulfill their rich (and fake) fantasy life.

So now that I’ve scared you into thinking your son will be a porn addict that won’t have lasting relationships except with the interwebs, here’s some stuff you can do to help you sort this out.  

Take some time to think about and clarify what you believe about porn. Good? Bad? Its impact on men, women and relationships? How will you explain this to your kids? What is your experience with porn?
 
Where is your computer? What are your family rules for internet use? Engage your kids in this conversation.  

In short, you need to have “The Porn Talk” with your sons and, frankly, your daughters, too.

You can learn how to have this conversation at my upcoming event "Poison Porn - Your Boys and Porn." I happily share the stage with Jo Langford, MA an author, therapist and boy sexuality expert. More details here: Poison Porn