Do your kids have “Naked Knowledge?”. Will being naked in front of your kids harm them?

By Kim Estes, Child Safety Expert and Founder of Savvy Parents Safe Kids.

"Is being Naked in front of my child harmful?"

I get this question a lot from the parents who attend my safety classes.

The short answer is: No. There is no harm being naked in front of your kids. Every family is totally different.  There are often many factors to consider. A families individual comfort level, ages of the children, situation and cultural background can play a big part in deciding what is right for your family and how you want to talk to your kids about nudity.

Here is how I guide parents when figuring out what is right for their family and deciding their values around family nudity:

Follow your child's cues. 

If your child is becoming more modest about their own bodies, it might be time to think about covering up. Recognize and respect this time of change for your child.

If either party (parent or child) starts to become uncomfortable with being naked in front of each other, then cover up. Sometimes parents just sense when it’s time to cover up (and any Dad, who has showered with a curious toddler daughter, knows EXACTLY what I am talking about).

Does your child express embarrassment about you being nude in front of them? COVER UP. (I am surprised at how many parents have just dismissed their child's embarrassment/modesty/ etc). Don’t dismiss their discomfort. It is important that you and your child respect each others personal body boundaries, this sets the stage for a safer and more empowered child when they are outside of your home and reduces their risk of sexual abuse.

Disrespecting your child’s personal boundaries around nudity CAN be harmful to your child. Empowerment about healthy body boundaries begins at home. When a child can let you know when they are uncomfortable about something, this signals a big part of the ongoing safety communication with you and your child.

Some folks have a more modest view on nudity and there is little to no nudity in the home. This is OK too. Just be sure not to use shame or scare tactics used when discussing your families comfort level on nudity.

Whether nudity is an issue or not in your house, you still need to set healthy safety boundaries with your kids. Let them know that it is not OK for other adults (or older kids) outside of your immediate family- to show their "bathing suit areas" to them. Nobody should be asking the child to show their bathing suit areas to them as well. Tell them that are some places such as the doctor’s office, where you might have to show your bathing suit areas but that it is OK because you will be there with them.

I have had cases where parents have been very open (or much closed) about nudity with their kids but failed to establish boundaries for the kids when they are outside the home or for people they know outside the immediate family. In several of these instances, the kids were sexually abused because the predator saw a child that had no boundaries regarding nudity, therefore the child did not report anything when the predator exposed themselves to the child, asked the child to disrobe or when the predator showed the child pornography. Give your child basic safety rules such as "Your bathing suit areas are private" and "People should not show you their bathing suit areas or ask to see yours".

As I tell my parents be sure your kids have some "Naked Knowledge!"