Senior Connections - "The Talk"

Starting a conversation with elderly parents or loved ones about health, hygiene, finances and living conditions can be difficult. You may find yourself worrying about things we take forgranted at our age, such as their driving habits, cooking abilities, safety, medications they take, housekeeping and general maintenance of their home. These kinds of conversations can be met with resistance.

Feeling uncomfortable, you may be unsure of how you should be addressing such personal issues with a generation who kept such aspects of their lives private. Sensitive subjects like this can be as delicate as the conversation your parents had with you... do you remember "the talk" about the birds and the bees? But such conservations are necessary if we are to help our loved ones process through those so-called "golden years."

Becoming organized with specific information can make that process
far easier than trying to weed through it after something tragic transpires. So,
how do you bring up this sensitive topic? Well, there are a few simple steps to
help you find your away along the information highway of retirement living.

• First, be sure your loved one knows how much you love and care about them.
• Let them know their wishes are very important to you and that it is your desire to honor those wishes to the best of your ability.
• You may find they are not even sure of what they want and it is likely they've never discussed it or considered it.
• Express your understanding of how difficult this conversation may be. Sometimes putting them in your shoes can help. For example, ask them if they know what your wishes are should you experience something catastrophic. You may be surprised to find they don't. This brings them to the realization of how important having "The Talk" may be.
• Inquire about their Advanced Directives, health and physical challenges. Remind them you are not trying to invade their privacy or put your personal demands on them. It is important they know your wishes are merely to ensure their long-term health and safety, as well as their comfort and care as they continue to age.
• When you visit your loved ones, look around their home. Are there safety concerns? Is home still being well cared for and are basic housekeeping needs being met? Check the refrigerator - is it well stocked? Are older food items being cleaned out? Are the items dated? These are often tell-tale signs they may not be eating properly or enough during the day.

Some seniors believe and insist they've gotten all things in order. In truth, for 80 percent of seniors, what they have done is just a smaller piece of what needs to be accomplished. Some have a will, but no long-term or life insurance. They may not even have an Advanced Directive. What was done years ago needs to be updated as things change, assets increase or decrease, laws change - retirement planning is an ongoing process and should be reviewed from time to time.

Next Senior Connections Blog will continue this discussion.