Why I Relay

I enjoy my blog and writing about sports. But this week I would like to talk on a more personal note about why I relay.  This Friday July 29, will be the to benefit the American Cancer Society.  This will be my fifth year walking, fourth year as a team captain or co-captain and my third year on the Relay Planning Committee.

It is hard to find anyone that in some way has not been touched by cancer.  Be it a friend, family member or co-worker that is currently in the fight, is a survivor or has lost the fight.   Many of us have multiple connections with the battle against cancer and the need to find a cure. 

My connection started when I was 13 and my dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer.  As a kid I was unaware of what cancer really was.  It was nothing I was taught in school about and only knew about cancer through the commercials that said smoking can cause cancer.  Also being so young I just figured it was something the doctors would fix with surgery and treatments.  I thought everything would be alright and did not realize that cancer could take my dad from me.

The first year of his battle I watched him go through chemotherapy and radiation treatments.  Those treatments also left him sick for days, with his hair falling out.  No one told me this would happen to my healthy 50 year-old dad.

This was back in the early 80's when the treatments were not as advanced as they are today.  Having to watch him with the dry heaves, loss of appetite and just over all tiredness was hard to see.  No one wants to watch a loved one go through the side effects of treatment.  It was easier to except knowing it would help him beat the cancer.

Then in January of 1985 they found more cancer and again my dad was having surgery to remove the cancer.  I can remember being in the waiting room when the surgeon came out to talk to my mom.   I think they thought I was out of ear shot when he told her that the cancer had spread too far and my dad would be lucky to make it another six months.

This was my first time hearing my dad was going to die.  I immediately thought of when six months is, I counted it out to July.  Then the next thing I realized was I was going to lose my dad.  That is when the anger set in.  I was mad; it wasn't fair and why was this happening to my dad, he is supposed to be here to watch me grow up.

By mid-June my dad's health real started to deteriorate.  He was losing weight, did not want to eat and was in more pain.  He would sleep most of the day and try to get up for dinner. 

When July came around everyday became, "will this be my dad's last one." I know people say to enjoy every day you have with a loved one.  It is difficult to do when that loved one has turned into 90 pounds of bones.  There just came a time where I wanted his suffering to end.  All of our good times were behind us now. 

He made it through July and into August.  I got to the point I was praying for God to take him and let his suffering be over with.  I just wanted him to go to sleep and not wake up.  I know it is hard for someone to understand why you would want a loved one to die.  But unless you have watched someone you love become half the person they use to be you can't understand.  It was hard for me to except that if he was going to die, why he would have to suffer till the end.

There finally came a time when my dad was in to much pain, my mom had to call for an ambulance to take him to the hospital.  I watched from the upstairs window as they wheeled my dad out.  I knew that was the last time he would be at home. 

I guess my prayers were answered because my dad passed away that following morning.  I sometimes wonder if my dad was waiting to go to the hospital so he would not die at home.  By doing this it left us with only happy memories of him at home.

I relay each year for my dad and for those who are no longer here to walk.  Cancer is cruel and does not discriminate on who it will touch, from infants to the elderly and the family and friends who would do anything to support a loved one in their fight. 

There are advancements being made every year in the treatment of cancer and finding a cure.  Someday cancer will be obsolete but until then I will keep relaying in support of those fighting cancer, those in remission and in memory of those who lost their fight.

A few years back I wrote a poem about my dad.  While I am out walking I think of the last line of that poem:

"I walk today with you in mind, because I am the one you left behind."     

If you would like to start your own Relay for Life Team for next year's relay you may contact at debbie.mcdonald@aol.com