Raising Boys Boy Design: 8 Questions on Bias Against Boys [BOOK EXCERPT]

In the sixties and seventies the cultural conversation about gender shifted as part of the movement to improve academic and social outcomes for females. In an effort to enhance equality, our culture bought into the idea that the design of boys and girls was inherently the same, that any suggestion of gender differences might be misused by men to catapult themselves over and beyond women.

Without a doubt, some cultural institutions were biased against girls and women, resulting in unfair treatment that needed to be addressed. But amid the well-intended efforts to level the playing field, we began condemning the very maleness of men -- their nature element of their God-given design. 

Men and boys were (and to a great extent still are) seen as constantly victimizing girls and women with their inherent violence, anger, competitiveness, and search for power. As social movements empowered female nature and female God-given design, these movements broadened the possible expressions of womanhood and emphasized the assets of female design. Meanwhile, male distress continued. And the idea that males might be in distress because their maleness was not understood or valued in the culture was seen as anti-female, dangerous, or just plain wrong.

Now we are faced with boys falling further and further behind in school, emotional maturity, family life, and workplace success. We have approximately two million males in our criminal justice and correction systems every year. While some prevailing social theories might use this statistic to say "Those males are defective" or "The system males create are defective," the two of us join many others in the field of gender development to posit a deeper issue: 

Our culture does not understand the nature and design of boys, and it enforces social systems that do not fully serve that nature and design.

1) What gender biases against boys and men are you seeing in your own family?

2) What biases are you seeing in your son's school?

3) What biases are you seeing in your church?

4) What biases are you seeing among other families and people around you?

5) Do you (or others) stereotype boys as disruptive, messy, inattentive?

6) Do you (or others) stereotype boys as too insensitive, naturally disrespectful, unable to follow directions?

7) Do you (or others) stereotype certain boys as tough, unfeeling, and bullies?

8) Do you (or others) stereotype certain boys as weak, too sensitive, too soft?

As we examine our own and others' stereotypes regarding males, we take a powerful step in understanding the biases undermining the growth and development of our sons: how we were raised, how we related to our father and mother and to the males and females in our world, what we were told about gender similarities and differences, what we observed and what we concluded. All of this matters.

The above is excerpted from Raising Boys Boys By Design: What the Bible and Brain Science Reveal About What Your Son Needs To Thrive by Gregory L. Jantz, Phd, and Michael Gurian.

10-DAY BOOK GIVEAWAY

For a free copy of Raising Boys By Design, comment on one of my updates about the book giveaway posted to my Facebook page (be sure to Like the page too), Twitter page (be sure to Follow me too), or Google+ (be sure to Follow me too), September 17 through September 27, 2013.