How Do you Give a Cat a Bath?

Nightmares are made of this stuff

The kind that make you huff and puff.

A black ball of fur reduced to skinny wet cat

Flailing and wailing and floundering about

My sweet Lizzy was as mad as a bear in combat.

But first I brushed her coat

To calm her and coo to her just a note.

My scheme continued with cuddling

Then claw trimming to prevent my blood from puddling

Foreseeing that soon she’d attack with me caught in the middling.

Three large towels and a bath matt

I gathered in the laundry for this bath of my cat.

Her special shampoo was ready at hand

When I carried my wary black Lizzy to the washstand,

Carefully closing the door as I’d planned.

Determinedly I held her in place

One-handedly rubbing shampoo but not in her face.

Not able to delay any longer

I turned on the faucet as she became stronger,

I prayed this shampoo would truly debug her.

Begging for strength and holding her wide

I moved her under the warm water as she cried.

Flailing, thrashing, whipping, I held tight;

Whirling, flapping, and the faucet she did bite.

Alas she escaped and to the closed door she took flight.

Sad and unhappy, I knew we weren’t done.

Unwilling to admit that Lizzy had won

I maneuvered her again to the deep laundry sink

To finish the rinse I put her under the drink.

At last I relented and toweled her as quick as a wink.

Three towels were soaked, the bath mat too.

My black cat was panting, thank God we were through.

I wrapped her in the driest of the wet terry,

Cuddled and held her ‘til her breathing was less scary.

Then I rubbed her with the towel till she ran off in a hurry.

She groomed and she mooned

While I tended my solitary cat-scratch wound.

She forgave me later and joined me in my chair

Serenely coiled up, now done with her cat care.

Her purring was as sweet as an evening prayer.