The 'Real' Real Housewives

On any residential street, behind the well-manicured lawns and picture-perfect development homes, you'll likely find the housewife, the nucleus of the family and a shiny image of success at juggling it all.

In reality, moms have it hard. We are constantly putting expectations on ourselves and on each other to seek and maintain a lifestyle of perfection. From aggressive volunteering and participating in the PTA, to hosting over-the-top birthday parties and one-upping our peers, can we really sustain the image of flawlessness? And at what cost?

More and more, moms are succumbing to undiagnosed mental disorders like depression and anorexia, unnoticed drug, alcohol and/or physical abuse, an even ever-mounting credit card debt to keep up with the Jones'.  They are the last to admit they have a problem for fear of their world crumbling around them, and they might be the first to defend their crutch as a life's necessity to keeping it all together.

Regardless of what may or may not be going on under the surface of these eerily still waters, the housewife is making her best effort to showcase her family in the brightest possible light.

This might include a facade of happiness and contentment.

This might include name brand sneakers and coats for her kids. 

This might include painstakingly prepared meals and snacks brought in to the children's classroom. 

This might include hospital-grade cleanliness and obsessive attention to detail.

Though in general terms none of these is a bad thing -- and of course we all want to have this life -- we are unforgiving of our failures and intolerant of falling short of these social expectations.  Above all, we want others to see us keeping it together, no matter how fragile, shallow, or artificial this reality might be.  Who is perpetuating this standard of false reality?  We have only ourselves to blame – and maybe the media.

There is a reason television programming like Desperate Housewives and reality cash-cows like Bravo's Real Housewives series are so successful.  As they showcase a sliver of hidden reality, moms worldwide can get lost in the fictional entertainment while being subtly pacified that they are not alone -- and possibly helping them justify their own roles in the home.

With society entertained by, if not blindly accepting the housewife-myth, who is helping the real women succumbing to the pressures?  Who is offering advice and acceptance of the cracked and truly realistic face of the woman in the home?

Housewives deserve a break and a lifeline.  If you know of someone struggling, or you yourself are wondering if there is support and help – and where to get it – the world is full of others in the same boat, all afraid of coming off weak and so staying mum on their challenges within the home.

Consider a few resources below and give yourself a break.  We deserve it.

Housewives & Depression (Livestrong.com)

Mothers can be High-Functioning Alcoholics Too (PsychologyToday.com)

Moms and Eating Disorders (Parenting.com)