'Knockers' Puts Kirkland Novelist Ellyn Oaksmith Front And Center

Rarely does a book title touch on something as close to a woman's heart—literally—as Ellyn Oaksmith’s novel “Knockers.” From the get-go, you know it is going to be funny.

The novel humorously details a food critic’s journey after mistakenly receiving breast implants. Though the main character demands their immediate removal, she is forced to wait eight weeks—eight weeks in which her breasts begin to talk to her, each with a unique personality.

Normally a small-chested woman, the Kirkland author discovered the bonus that can occur when nursing an infant. Unaccustomed to the attention-grabbing effects of cleavage, Oaksmith couldn’t help being acutely aware of her new social status.

Would she ever have breast implants to maintain that look?

"No. I am far too athletic and enjoy having a streamlined profile. That being said ... (cleavage) is something I admire, when it's tastefully done, and I do understand why women have breast implant surgery."

However, an overnight buxom bosom isn’t the only story behind the story. The main character is happily flat-chested and the plastic surgery is necessary only to have some unsightly scars removed from her chest. This, too, parallels Oaksmith’s life.

At 27, Oaksmith was supplementing her Hollywood screenwriting career by working as a cook on an Alaskan fishing boat.

"The job allowed me to make a lot of money in a short period of time," she explains.

The boat was heading back to Dutch Harbor when a fire broke out, leaving Oaksmith with burns on her arms and legs. She was flown back to Seattle for treatment, where doctors applied silicone patches to the burns on her arms, stopping scar tissue from forming.

"Having them removed was extremely painful ... It was far worse than childbirth," remembers Oaksmith. But the results looked much better than the scars on her legs that didn't receive the same treatment.

She continued working in L.A. after the accident but soon grew weary of the industry. Oaksmith describes the creative side of Hollywood saying, “It is tough on the ego and not a place to raise a family. There was no one I wanted to marry.”

So, she returned to the Northwest where she grew up and, drawing on her English degree from Smith College, began to write comedic novels, discussing serious issues through the more bearable lens of humor. As an undergrad, she hadn't thought this career path was an option, hence an MFA in screenwriting at the American Film Institute in L.A.

However, even her first screenplay, "The Secret Life of Fish," employed the balance of death and loss with lightness and comedy, though it was never made into a movie.

When asked if she will ever again write screenplays, Oaksmith throws out a “never say never,” but her interest lies in writing comedic novels. “Knockers” took three years to finish and went through a series of editing by friends and book groups before Oaksmith self-published the e-book. It is currently only available through Amazon, although Oaksmith expresses a desire to find an agent who will get her book published as a hard copy.

“The book has been well-received by readers. People are already asking for a sequel,” says Oaksmith, who isn’t sure about the idea. She does, however, have two other books in the works.

She explains the difference between writing novels versus writing screenplays, saying, “In screenplays, a writer must be far more precise. There are no digressions or much interior dialogue.”

Oaksmith compares screenplays to the blueprints of a house, while novels are more like the actual, physical building. One is the skeleton, the other is fleshed out.

“If I’m not writing, I’m not a happy person,” she claims. But her family is her chosen priority and she knows all too well the difficulties faced by moms with careers.

“I know a woman, another writer, who tells me her office door is always open—that her kids come in and out and ask her questions while she writes. I don’t know how she does that!” says Oaksmith, who prefers a completely quiet atmosphere in which to hatch her stories.

Now 47, Oaksmith has been married to her husband Stan for 15 years, with whom she enjoys shooting pool, watching movies and traveling to places like Hawaii and the East coast, and more locally to Vancouver B.C. and Portland. On their "most wanted" travel list is Sweden, Paris, India and Australia.

The couple currently live on Finn Hill and are the parents of two adolescent daughters who have both been praised by teachers for their interest and talent in writing. Claiming to have been a precocious reader as a child, Oaksmith tries not to put restrictions on her daughters’ reading choices—they just finished “The Hunger Games” series by Suzanne Collins.

When she’s not writing or playing taxi driver for her busy daughters, Oaksmith enjoys cooking (now we know why the main character in "Knockers" is a food critic!). She has a vegetable garden this summer and has been envying a new knife set at Costco for a while. Her favorite cookbook is “Silver Palate” by Julee Rosso, though she is also a fan of cookbooks by Barefoot Contessa and Giada De Laurentiis.

Oaksmith readily admits to a habit of clipping out magazine recipes.

“I have a recipe pile about this thick,” she says indicating with her hands a file large enough to keep her family in new meals every night for a year.

While Oaksmith's own experiences and hobbies shaped her characters and story line in “Knockers,” her next novel is not quite so pulled from her own life. Set in the cul de sac where she lives, the characters, working through the aftermath of infidelity, are totally fictional—but, no doubt, funny.

If there are talking body parts in that novel, I'm dying to know what they have to say!