Are You a Cyberbully?

As I’m sure you have noticed last week’s blog got a lot of attention. I actually considered pulling the blog at one point, not because I was afraid, I had changed my opinions or because my editor didn’t support me, but because people were using it as an avenue to threaten and harass each other.

The intent of an opinion blog is to express one person’s viewpoint. It doesn't need to be factual; it's not necessary to quote statistics or to be a subject-matter expert. An opinion blog is meant to express the opinions of the author, usually derived from personal experience or beliefs. These beliefs motivate the author to sympathize with individuals in similar situations, and those who disagree will sympathize with the other side.

This was the case in my previous blog.

When an opinion is expressed, there is an expectation there will be disagreement. Gandhi once said, “Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.” But what does honest disagreement look like?

If you’re expressing your opinion on the Internet, and after debating an issue for some time, you have been unsuccessful at changing the other person’s mind, what should you do? Do you walk away from the conversation and decide they simply can’t be moved? Or do you start to threaten them, try to embarrass them or attempt to communicate with them in other forums? If you do… you might be a cyberbully.

Cyberbullies don’t believe they’re bullies. They just feel very strongly about something and can't accept they have no control over the other person’s choices or beliefs. They’re really not all that different from bullies out in the real world. They posture, frighten and dominate conversations. They pressure the victim until the victim decides it simply isn’t worth the effort to disagree with them anymore.

Cyberbullying can be as simple as continuing to message someone who has said they don’t want to talk anymore, or could include threats and hate speech. Cyberbullies gang up on victims by making them the subject of ridicule and encouraging others to get involved. They attempt to hack the victim’s homepages and threaten a victim's earnings, employment, reputation, or safety.

The bully then attempts to draw attention to people the victim knows or talks to and says they must all be bad also because they’re friends with the victim. It’s as bad as fourth-graders out on the playground, but more dangerous.

Cyberbullies usually have a really good point that people should listen to, but because they have come on so strong people have become defensive and are not listening anymore.

With instant access to topics via the Internet, it has become easier and easier for people to bully others. Emotions run high and educated, intelligent people find themselves typing things they would never say in person. These same people are reasonable individuals that on most days you would agree with on a variety of topics, but for whatever reason this topic hits too close to home.

And as in real life, victims of cyberbullying sometimes become cyberbullies themselves.

It’s OK to have an opinion. It’s OK to disagree, and it’s even OK to feel so strongly about a topic that you feel the need to argue. But it’s never OK to attack someone for that opinion, try to hack their Facebook, threaten them, or email them repeatedly.

And it’s OK to disagree and share the opposite side of the opinion even if the perceived victim doesn’t want to hear it, because we need honest disagreements to uncover what the truth may be and to continue to make progress toward a more peaceful society. But in order for that to happen you must let someone disagree with you -- even publicly -- without fear of reprisal.

Just my opinion …