Terry Bader on Guidelines for Effective Time-Outs for Kids

Many parents and guardians use time-outs to correct children’s bad behavior. According to the Best Start Resource Centre: Ontario’s Maternal Newborn and Early Child Development Resource Centre a time-out is an approach that requires removing a child from their immediate environment for a short time, as a result of a behavior perceived by the caregiver as a transgression. Many caregivers think putting a child in time-out is an effective way to discipline them and frequently use this practice.

Concerns with Time-Outs

While time-outs can be a useful means to stop bad behavior, there are also concerns about the effectiveness of this discipline. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, several aspects of time-out must be considered to ensure its effectiveness. While time-outs may stop immediate misbehavior, if the child does not understand why they are in a time-out, then long-term behavior may not be fixed. Furthermore, children who do not understand the purpose of a time-out may suffer from social exclusion or may be frightened by being isolated.

Effective Steps

Time-outs can help correct bad behavior but should be used with caution. For the most effective time-out discipline, practice what will happen during a time-out with your child before you need to use it and follow the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s five necessary steps:

1. Check Behavior & Give a Warning: Give your child a timeout warning before immediately putting them in a time-out. If they follow directions after the warning, be sure to praise your child and thank them for listening to instructions. If your child continues to misbehave, you should follow with a time-out.
2. Explain Why: This step is essential for correcting bad behavior. If you send your child to a time-out, be sure to explain to them why. Explain to your child by saying “You have to go to a time-out because you…” It is also critical to explain to them in a calm but firm fashion.
3. Have Your Child Sit: Getting children to sit in time-out is sometimes easier said than done. Children often do not want to sit, but remember that your child is trying to get out of a time-out and is doing whatever they can to get out. Try to limit your interaction with your child during their time-out but if you have to stand by the time-out space to get the child to sit that is ok.
4. Ending the Time-Out: According to Meredith Women’s Network, a good rule of thumb for the length of a time-out is one minute per year of your child’s age. (For example, a 3-year-old would get three minutes). When the time-out is over, be sure to remind your child what they did wrong and how they can fix it.
5. Don’t Forget to Praise: Immediately after the time-out, be sure to focus on the next positive thing your child does and offer them praise. You may have to repeat a time-out a few times to successfully correct behavior, but praise can teach good behavior as well.

Time-outs can be a useful means to stop children’s bad behavior. However, it is essential to follow these guidelines for proper use of time-outs and to prevent misbehavior.

Terry Bader is an experienced and compassionate social worker in Tacoma, Washington. She has over 27 years of experience and is committed to providing unparalleled service to her clients. Read more of her divorce support or check out her Twitter!

Originally published at terrybader.com on April 19, 2018.