Moms Talk: 'How was school today?'

Parents' excitement about the first day of school sometimes eclipses that of the students. And the minute we see them at the end of that first day we want to ask, "How was school today?"

Those of us with teenagers or boys, know for sure that this question isn't the best. Here is some brainstorming about how to get some real data from the mouths of tight-lipped students.

Most agree, specific questions get you farther, but they can't be too personal (did you sit next to that cute girl at lunch?) or too threatening (did you ace your geometry quiz?).

Some benign questions that they might want to answer could be these:

Was your math teacher what you expected? How did the food at lunch compare to last year? Does anyone play basketball at recess/lunch? What was the wackiest outfit one of your teachers wore?

Be careful not to sound like you expect school to be a terrific, perfect experience. Your student might feel disappointed that his or her day did not go better. Most of them are not looking forward to the first day as much as us parents.

For some kids, 3 questions puts them over the top. At dinner or in the car (captive audience!) perhaps ask one starter question and then just stay quiet, sometimes for a torturously long time--more information is likely to spill out in that void if you're patient. Just drag out that car ride so it's long enough for the magic to happen!