Moms Talk: The Biggest Transition of the Year

For parents — and children, of course — this is the most significant time of year.

And for most Mercer Island families, that day is Aug. 31, the first day of classes in the . The transition is huge, and everyone, no matter how big or small, has worries and concerns about the back to school season. 

The first-grader's concern over what to do during recess or lunch is just as significant as the college student's worry about a class schedule full of labs and papers. And parents should be mindful that their own stress about their child's learning disabiliy, risky behaviors, eating problems or whatever, are to be taken seriously too. 

Don't ignore the fact that this is a big deal for us parents too. It's a love-hate time of year, where we mourn the loss of long days and bar-b-ques but also look forward to the forced routine of the school year. We enjoyed not having to worry so much about bedtimes and the length of playdates, but we like the security of the structure of the school year. 

We are better at preparing our children for the transition--involving them in gathering school supplies, checking out the old backpack, buying a new cool pair of jeans and trying to instill new enthusiasm for the "Reminder Binder" (an organizational calendar used by  and ).

Let's put as much preparation into our own transition. Here are some things we can do in advance of that first week of school to reduce our own stress:

1. Figure out breakfast. What works for you and provides the kids with a good start. In our house, we love homemade pancakes and waffles which might sound daunting, but not if you make a large batch of batter in advance. A tripled recipe of the "Joy of Cooking" pancake batter, which uses lots of eggs, lasts a week. If you substitute canola oil for the melted butter, you get a healthier fat in there as well. The smell of these pancakes adds a positive touch to the day.

2. Figure out a special "reward" (for you as well as the kids) for the end of the first week. It could be a dinner out to a favorite restaurant, a family movie, or a hike. Maybe a last harrah bar-b-que in your neighborhood that includes parents with same-aged kids. 

3. Be prepared to deal with other parents' stress. Don't take on the worries of other parents, or let them ramp you up into a frenzy over things you had not thought to worry about (this does not make you a bad parent!). A certain amount of "sharing" of information naturally occurs about the strength of the math program, certain teachers, and more. Use credible information to make positive changes where possible, even if this means a real life experience for your child having to navigate a disorganized teacher (document when things are turned in, and perhaps make copies of things turned in--easier to do now with smart phones and electronic calendars). 

4. Take care of your health. Make those doctor appointments that were put off during the hectic summer. Schedule needed sessions for physical therapy or massage. Come up with a plan to get back on track with an exercise routine. A real PLAN is important, because exercise might be the first calendar casualty when you're juggling kids and work. 

5. Finally, for new empty nesters or partial empty nesters, set up a time to meet with others like you after the college good-byes are over. It will help ease the sting of that newly empty bedroom if you share stories (and sadness) with friends. Stories might include seeing the car in the driveway (up 'til now a rare thing) and experiencing a fleeting thought that your son or daughter is home, or having to change your milk order because the milk is just piling up in the fridge now that your college student is gone, or tearing up at the sight of the now super clean and super empty room.

Best of luck in this season of back to school. Take a deep breath and take care of yourself!