Moms Talk: When Children Complain About Teachers

Every student encounters teachers that rub them the wrong way. You may hear that the teacher is disorganized, loses assignments, hates your child, changes due dates and more. Our first step is usually to consult the mommy gossip network to find out the "history" on said teacher. 

The "intel" on teachers is easy to get, but do we share these opinions/gossip with our kids if the feedback from friends is negative? It is so tempting to commisserate with them — but my gut tells me we should take the high road and help guide our kids through the new difficult situation. If we take the second course, our kids might learn lessons that will help later in dealing with a difficult coach or employer.

One of the most important pieces of paper you will get from teachers is the "course expectations" forms that you sign at the beginning of the year. These are the forms that the kids rush to you with pen in hand, demanding that you sign and hand back on the spot.

I read these, highlighting the important information on how to deal with absences, what makes up the grade (75% based on tests or 75% based on homework--a big difference), etc. This is the first thing students should understand about a teacher, and this approach will be important in college as well.

Sometimes a teacher that has a bad rep with parents, is fine with kids, or a teacher that has a bad rep for not teaching the Honors math (the definition of Honors--they learn it "independently"), is fine teaching regular math.

Since I can't help myself, I often make "suggestions" on how to deal with issues, such as photocopying assignments, marking them with dates turned in if the teacher "loses everything." I'm sure it works better if the student comes up with the strategy themselves. And of course, the kids should be talking to their teachers! It's easy to complain to us, but they are likely to evaluate the situation a bit better when going directly to the source.

But for those truly, factually documented situations — where you think the school administration should know about the teacher's performance — put the information in an email or other written form. Whining among parents does little to address the issues if school adminsitrators don't have real data. Many parents talk about how impossible it is to address teacher deficiencies, but few ever document their concerns or let the administration know.

Make a point to write up the positives also, as there are far more great teachers here who deserve our praise.