Moms Talk: When Kids Head Off to College

When children head off to college both the house and bank account suddenly seem emptier. All Islanders notice there are fewer college students around town as the exodus at the end of August begins.

Now colleges have more elaborate orientations and send-offs, including a program for parents which usually includes advice about not hounding their kids with too many text messages and phone calls. Parents not able to help their kids move in feel left out. One remorseful dad said he'd always thought he'd be there to take his son to college, but had to stay home for his younger kids who were also starting school. His wife got to go help their son settle into his new digs in Minnesota. 

There are changes to embrace and changes to mourn. The younger kids still at home may dread becoming the center of your attention (helicopter alert), but this attention will likely mean more conversation and more connection. The time and emotional energy spent on those now absent, creates "space" for the kids at home to grow into their own and develop new relationships with you.  

At the same time, it's great to see how our new college students are learning how to live life on their own, and balance the overwelming social opportunities and demands of homework. And though some of us are not getting nearly the same amount of texts and calls we're used to, it's comforting to know it's because they are busy with their new life and hopefully having a good time.

Parents of "first children to leave" are in a different class and definately stand out from those who've experienced it before. Moms all over the Island are tearing up without warning, triggered by innocent things like seeing a little boy at a grocery store, or watching the dog sniffing all over your college student's room, searching for their best buddy. Moms plan lunches to "commiserate" and share stories of the transition. Stories of tearful, and not so tearful, sendoffs are compared. 

We all hope and pray that the time and energy that went into the college selection process pays off and that our children have found a place that is just what they were looking for. And then, there's Family Weekend, just around the corner!