Alien adventure on the marriage planet

Star Trek logs: marriage

Sometimes, as I listen to couples in my counseling and coaching practice, it feels like I am in a Star Trek episode in which alien cultures meet and struggle to develop communication protocols.

For example, I coached a couple who had just moved in together (new planet) and, in the process, discovered issues they did not have when they were courting and lived separately.

Making and sharing a home together for the first time, they now had to communicate about issues such as: who cleans the bathroom and to what standard; who is accountable for taking out the trash; who cleans up after dinner; who does the shopping; what should they shop for; and at what expense?

Living apart and courting one another, these questions were not relevant but having just moved in together, they became critical. The couple’s capacity to communicate, to negotiate and resolve issues in a cooperative manner became central to how they would share their lives. Any lack of development or impairment in their capacity to listen to one another was going to show up, big time.

Over time I was able to help two alien beings lay solid foundations for relationship, to move from courtship to partnership, and welcome a new dawn on the marriage planet.

Offers Paul@relationshipliteracy.com