Pinkies Up

There used to be a time when your pinky finger, that forgotten digit on your hand next to your ring finger, may have been considered useless. Not needed. Immaterial. Even the word pinky is derived from the word pink, which according to some sources means small or little. Heck, it might as well mean undesired or “wouldn’t miss it if it weren’t there.” Poor pinky. I feel pretty bad for that tiny little finger at the end of hand, dismissed and marginalized for eons.

Although it did have some uses. Extending the pinky finger while drinking tea is usually a sign of being a member of high society. But even that has been hijacked and twisted to come to mean snobby or snooty; basically putting on airs. It can be used by people so they can count to ten without having to take off their shoes and socks, to everybody else’s delight. Another “frowned upon” use for the pinky finger is for hygiene of the ears, but that’s not a discussion point for now. Or ever.

But, lo and behold, came smartphones, and suddenly everything changed. That device in your hand caused a sudden, cataclysmic shift that propelled that tiny little finger into a major asset. Smartphones converted the pinky into an anchor. An anchor that firmly kept your phone steady in the rough seas of social networking, game playing, selfie taking society of the early 21st century. This may, indeed, be the century of the pinky.

If you are reading this from a smartphone, chances are that right now, right this second, your pinky is what’s making it possible. You probably have three fingers behind your phone; the index, middle and ring fingers. Your thumb does the scrolling. However, it’s your pinky that’s holding the smartphone firmly in its place in the palm of your hand, slightly leaning forward from the other fingers. As a matter of fact, your middle and ring fingers are relegated to a support role, with the index, thumb and pinky fingers taking center stage.

Go ahead, try to remove your pinky and see what happens. Oops, sorry. I should have warned you in advance that your smartphone might slip from your hand. I hope nothing bad happened to it, or that you have insurance on it. Maybe it’s time to buy a new one anyway, perhaps? In any case, the point was proven. Your pinky reigns supreme. Your pinky allows you to do things you never thought you’d be able to do, not even 10 or 15 short years ago.

Looking at Instagram updates on your phone? Your pinky allows your thumb to do the scrolling while you “Like” all those posts (Note: you really should “Like” posts of people you follow, otherwise, why do you even follow them? That’s just Instagram etiquette 101.) Playing Flappy Bird? You can thank your pinky for holding the phone as steady as can be while you try to navigate the impossibly located gates of that dastardly game. Taking selfies? The pinky eliminates blurry pics so everybody can see your reflection in the dirty bathroom mirrors.

You see? The pinky finger is now quite essential to modern life as we know it. So rejoice, all you tiny things that were seen as expendable. Your day will come, little toe. Your smartphone in shining armor will save the day, appendix. Soon people will come to realize that you’re all worth something, and that you’re not there just to be discarded. Go ahead and drink your tea, people, and be proud to do so with your pinkies up.