What Do We Do With Our Kids When There's no Schedule?

As a kid, it was thrilling to hear phrases and words like “spring break,” “summer” and “no school.”

They represented freedom from schedules and time for spontaneity, relaxation and playing with friends for hours on end. As parents, these same words mean a wrench in the routine and having to figure out alternative care or activities for your children. We must not only keep our kids safe and out of trouble during these breaks from regular routine, but also keep them learning, growing and from turning into couch potatoes or video heads.

During the Shoreline and Seattle school districts’ spring break last week, I visited my sister’s house. She works from home and has the flexibility to be with her boys, ages 7 and 9, during these scheduled holidays. I think she was the founder and president of the Seattle Activity Club in a previous life because she is amazing at coming up with activities for her boys not only during breaks from school but on the weekends as well. (BTW, if you have out-of-town visitors you don’t know what to do with, call my sister!)

After I commended her for always having such wonderful outings and activities lined up for her kids, she admitted it was a double-edged sword. She worries that because she and her husband tend to have a lot of family activities planned during free time, their boys don’t know how to entertain themselves like we did as kids.

My sister, brother and I did not grow up in a big city, nor did our two full-time working parents regularly entertain us. Summertime was usually spent playing in the yard with the neighbor kids, swimming, riding bikes around our cul-de-sac, playing cards and just hanging out. The most entertainment we ever had was a week or two of tennis lessons, a possible trip to the amusement park an hour’s drive away and the occasional weekend boating/fishing trip. We complained of being bored like most kids do, but being bored forced us to be creative and be resourceful in a way we might not have otherwise. I can still map out every inch of my childhood backyard.   

A dear friend who grew up in Iowa remembers being booted out of the house by her mother during the summer. If the weather was nice, the kids were expected to be outside the entire day. She says with a laugh that they would go to a neighbor’s house to use the bathroom. Her memories of being forced to play and explore outside as a child are some of her dearest. I’d have to agree. While the occasional trip to the amusement or water park an hour away was always a thrill, those are not the first memories to pop into my head when I wax nostalgic about my childhood.

In the fast pace of present day life, are our children allowed to experience childhood to its fullest?  While I absolutely love everything that city life has to offer in terms of experiences for families and children, I also want my daughter to have the experience of just hanging out without schedules.  I want her to get bored and to know how to entertain herself by simply walking into the backyard or playing with a friend. 

I find myself wondering if children such as ours, growing up in a city like Seattle with access to a steady stream of visits to the zoo, the aquarium, Harry Potter camps, Children’s Museum, Science Center and the Museum of Flight, are necessarily better off than children forced to explore and create their own entertainment.  How do we not only provide our children with a variety of experiences and activities while also teaching them to be creative, inventive, resourceful and self-entertaining?  This is yet another balancing act I find myself walking as a parent in the effort to raise a healthy, intelligent, inquiring and happy child.