Blog: "Is it over yet? Can I open my eyes?"

So I watched the Glee episode this week and if you haven’t seen it, go see it RIGHT NOW because this is going to have episode spoilers.

So this week’s episode was about how Rachel and Kurt have their NYADA auditions and Puck has to pass his European history final or he can’t graduate. Now, this may not seem important but it is so just keep your pants on. So we watch as Rachel, Kurt, and Puck go through their important events and this is how it goes.

We’ll start with Kurt.

So Kurt has his audition planned and is thinking he might want to do something risky instead of safe but Rachel convinces him to do the safe song. So Kurt gets on stage, all ready to do Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera, when at the last minute decides to sing Not the Boy Next Door, his risky song. He nails it and the judge praises him for taking such a risk.

Rachel has been training for her audition her whole life.

She chose to sing Don’t Rain on my Parade, a song she’s been singing since she was 2 (metaphorically). She is ready and confident and not nervous at all. Now this is important because Kurt was extremely nervous. So Rachel goes on and starts to sing, only to mess up the words. She starts again, but she flubs yet again. When she asks for another chance, the judge says no and gets up and leaves the auditorium, leaving Rachel in tears.

Now Puck, he’s in real trouble.

All he needs is to pass his final. But after much trying, Puck quits and leaves the school to clean pools before he leaves for California. He has decided to drop out, until his dad comes and asks for money. This changes his mind, since he doesn’t want to be anything like his deadbeat dad. So he takes the test, after lots of study help from his friends, and ends up… failing.

This episode hit my really hard because it brings up the true terror of growing up and heading off to college. The terror that you have all your dreams set up and you’re so close and suddenly, everything falls apart. Suddenly your dreams are done, finished, blown up, like a helium balloon that popped before it got 20 feet off the ground. Like you’re gliding through the ocean on a motorboat when the motor suddenly dies and you’re stranded with no way to get help and only enough food to last you two weeks, maybe.

What do you do? How are you supposed to go on? Where can you go? Everything you had, everything you spent so much time working towards, is gone, over. What can you do? I asked my little brother this (not the best source for this, he’s 14), and he said, “Get a new dream.”

Like it’s that easy. Like you can just find a new dream and keep going like nothing happened. Well, I’m going to tell you right now, a dream that you’re working towards, it’s everything. It’s your life and all that worked for. You end up working so hard to make it happen, but when it’s gone, you’re lost.

I don’t know what that’s like but I’m not going to lie, I’ve had my doubts that my dream would come true. Let’s just say my grades haven’t been too great this year for various reasons. And I was terrified that Oregon State University would take away my admittance because my grades were worse than they’ve ever been.

When you are working so hard to make something happen, you have doubts, you don’t think you can do it. But I’m doing better and making it. That doesn’t mean I’m not terrified something will happen and I will lose my acceptance to OSU. So this episode hit my really hard because it highlighted all my doubts and fears. I just hope everything will turn out all right.