Solemn Thoughts on Memorial Day, Suffering and Sacrifice

What might a Memorial Day service be like — especially if it was not a rah-rah celebration of patriotism and not a bitter screed against U.S. foreign policy?

People sometimes shy way from issues relating to those who died during times of war, as well as the veterans who are left behind, because of their complicated feelings about war.

Memorial Day -- once dubbed “Decoration Day” because the graves were decorated with flags, ribbons and other mementoes – is a solemn day to remember the men and women who died in war.

We have the opportunity to acknowledge the sacrifice of the people who served and died, which can be mightily painful if the deceased person was a friend, family member or comrade. It is important that these people are not forgotten, not because they are heroes but because they are ordinary people placed in extraordinary events, and whether living or dead are still part of the fabric of our families and our communities.

Memorial Day often stirs painful feelings in the hearts of veterans who live with tremendous grief and loss, still thinking about those who died and struggle to come to terms with their own experiences.

In War and the Soul: Healing Our Nation's Veterans from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, the book by Edward Tick, Ph.D., it is important that those who serve in war are still part of the community. When Tick, a psychologist from Albany, N.Y.. who visited Racine a few years ago to lead a healing retreat at Lake House Health and Learning Center for veterans, their families and helping professionals, we learned that all of us have been touched by the war in one way or another.

Tick maintains that the veteran cannot and should not have to hold his or her own story and that true healing happens when the veteran is able to share his or her own story with the community so they can help "carry" that story.

Getting the word out about the suffering in wartime is essential, especially since the Veterans Administration recently acknowledged that more than 25 percent of Iraq returnees have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder – a figure that many mental health professionals believe is on the low side.

Tick bypasses any kind of political debate for the important and imminent necessity of addressing the serious needs of returning veterans, a cause that will become increasingly important as thousands service people return home. He

Tick believes the trauma of modern warfare is so deep that it devastates the psyche — affecting not only the veteran but the veteran’s family and ultimately, the community. He draws from nearly 30 years of expertise in psychology, history, mythology, and diverse spiritual traditions to provide real solutions for healing PTSD – including storytelling, purification rituals and reconciliation techniques, making use of sociodrama-like activities as well as Native American healing traditions. He also takes Vietnam veterans back to southeast Asia for healing ceremonies, to meet the country’s veterans and to assist in philanthropic programs to help the needy.

In just a few years, veterans, clergy people, psychotherapists, healers, family members and others have been drawn to his book and begun to discuss how they can implement Tick’s ideas in their own communities and tend to the psychological and spiritual needs of veterans and the results of war.

He has founded a non-profit organization, Soldier’s Heart, to create a national network of community-based services for the healthy and successful reintegration of veterans when they return home. Next to remembering the fallen, it is certainly the best way that we can honor those who died, those who suffered and those who served.