If This Mom Van's a Rockin, Don't Come A Knockin: It's Back to School

So despite the lack of fanfare — — school started this week.

Oh how relaxed and happy all us parents are now that the kids are in school, and it is true — there is love in the air for the dear children, the teachers, the crossing guards, the neighbors, as well as fellow man and the universe.  

And hey, I will admit it, I did sneak away yesterday and stay in Chicago after an appointment, and I had thoughts about other things besides getting supplies or clothes for the kids for school. I walked around. I stood and absorbed things other than myself, other than things on my worn list of supplies. My senses were overwhelmed in a good way. Layers of sound washed over me and languages danced and the El screeched and people were multifaceted and busy.

But today, those big bold first day's dreams of having the time to go away but also have the house clean, the exercise done, healthy dinners on the table a clothesline full of fresh clothes plus a day of successful meetings and a stack of finished work are being replaced with a resounding rumble of time being sucked away, coupled with the horror of, "How is it 3 o'clock already?" 

It's a teachable moment, and I am turning to the pros for guidance. Those parents who are calm, cool, happy and punctual. 

What I’ve gathered from them boils down to three big things: Recognize that school is a big change for everyone; do something for you every day; manage time like a boss.  Another element … reading the stuff from school ... doesn’t hurt either. It’s amazing what you learn when you read the calendar and the homework assignments.

School is a big change for everyone in the household. The day is now structured around the school day, from start to end, and after school is about the day, and tomorrow's wake up time is about tonight.

"The first day of school is more like New Year's than Jan. 1," said Leah Kim, parent, and she’s right.

It is exciting, and it's constant. From the parent's perspective, it’s a little like sending two children to camp every single day. Today I got so carried away with the school’s request to identify clothing that I drew all over the girl's socks with Sharpie as if someone with serious eye problems would be trying to discern her name from a helicopter. I packed enough water for both to hike a long trail. But we still biffed a permission slip and forgot about a later afternoon snack for one of them.

Tim Kenney, principal of Atwater Elementary, understands the excitement but adds that he would encourage parents to drive much more slowly near school grounds. Betsy Barr, longtime school volunteer, also mentioned this as her No. 1 back to school concern.

“They need to post one of those solar ‘You are driving xyz miles per hour’ signs in front of the school," she said. "Everybody drives too fast, especially after they’ve dropped off their children.”

In fact, Kenney is looking to find funding for such signs around the school because it is on a major thoroughfare. Sticker price is $1,600 for the standalone solar versions.

Do something every day for you

The sane people all seem to have this in common.  

This is harder than it looks.

It can be simple. 

Sharon Meier, founder and teacher at , once told me that she walks home every day, fixes lunch, sits at the table, and eats it.

“Purposefully and peacefully,” she said. "It's very therapeutic."

Kim said besides the organizing and exercising, she is going to attempt to “sit on a bench at the Art Museum and stare at some art without nagging, whining, fighting...crying, pleading kids." She's also thinking of taking an enrichment class, like math, at MATC, or a language class. (FYI Shorewood's Alliance Française de Milwaukee has an open house coming up next week, and classes start next week as well). It's so easy to sign the kids up — it is much more difficult to allow oneself the same enrichment.

Manage time like a boss

With kids in school, it is imperative to always know the date, day of the week, and time, as well the weather, the whereabouts of boots, backpacks, lunch boxes, lunch menu variations, school day plans, field trips, when it’s time to wake up, when you have to leave for school, half days, or after school classes or commitments. There is also dinner, homework, bath, pj's, teeth, and bed, which have to happen at normal times.

So that leaves the time between drop off and pickup to do this other stuff and organize. Parent conversations and playdate requests, scheduling changes and new plans spring up between the early minutes of 8:10 to 8:30 a.m., so knowing the day’s plan before drop off can help avoid parental error in scheduling. Things at school are aural. It’s also good to know how long it takes to run errands. Sounds silly, but if it's 2 p.m. you need to know if you can make it to Michael's (you can) and back. 

My friend, Janet Reinhoffer, a small business owner, yoga teacher and mother of three, has put a few moments back into her day since Tuesday.

"I've been able to enjoy a cup of coffee, take the dog for a walk and sew skirts without stopping every five minutes to feed, referee or find glue sticks/'good' paper/glitter/etc. for the kiddos and almost relax for a minute ... almost.” 

Another small business owner, Kathy Papineau, also a Shorewood parent of three, has hit the ground running and finds it satisfying to have only one conversation going at a time.

Now in the process of finalizing the plans for a commercial kitchen, she said, “I've talked to my lawyer without worrying about missing my son's backwards flip off the board at the pool.”

OK, I've spent the day thinking about these things, and now it's pickup time. I think I have to leave now. Good luck, make a plan, sneak away now and then, and I'll see you in the hall, or at a meeting, in line at .