Do I Really Need a Bucket List?

Apparently everyone has a bucket list—all the things they want to do before they die. My friend Al Levenson has a bucket list that you can read on his blog, A Year on the Road. My 19-year old daughter has had a bucket list for a few years and has already made great headway. Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson even made a movie about it.

So I figured I needed one too.

To that end, I sat down and gave it some thought.

When I was a teenager, I dreamed of going to Paris.

I'm lucky enough that I've gone twice.

In my twenties, I dreamed of having my own family and owning a house.

When I was thirty, we bought a house and had a baby.

In my thirties, I realized that the whole parenthood thing was trickier than I thought, and I hoped that I would be able to raise a healthy, happy daughter who would pursue her own dream.

Now I know that I'm still a parent—that's a job for life—but I'm very proud of the woman who my little girl has grown into, and even though I'm sure there will be obstacles to overcome, I'm confident that she will handle them. And anything she can't do on her own, we can do together.

As far as careers go, I wanted to be the best teacher I could be and make a difference in children's lives. Now I don't pretend that every student in my class was changed for the better because I taught them, but I feel in my heart that many of them benefited from something I gave them, whether it was my humor, my hugs, or introducing them to a favorite book. Maybe all they'll remember of me is one of the silly songs I used to sing in class. That's good enough for me.

In my forties, my dream has been to be a published writer. But that dream partially depends upon a fickle and ever-changing industry, so I don't have complete control over the publishing end of that. But I do have control of my part—writing. And I do write.

I hear you saying that I don't get it, that family and career aren't considered bucket list items. Bucket lists are more specific: places to go, people to meet, goals to achieve, benchmarks to pass.

But I've thought about it. I have no burning desires that have yet to be fulfilled. I really don't want to go skydiving or visit the North Pole or meet the queen of England. And although there are a few places I'd still like to see—I've never been to Spain—I'm not going to regret it if I never make it there.

I guess that's the essence of a bucket list: When you reach the end of your life, what would you regret not having done?

I have no regrets. I'm basically happy. Boring but true.

But the same friend who has a bucket list on his blog also has a reverse bucket list, which actually intrigues me more. So instead of a bucket list, I'm going to start a reverse bucket list. Thanks for the idea, Al!

While I'm compiling mine, you can read Al's.

For more of Tanya's musings on life, read For Words.