Selling Apples, Wearing Purple Capris, and Other Crimes

Just a few observations and questions about the latest crime blotter…

MAY 20, SUNDAY

4:29 p.m. A resident in the 1200 block of Marin Avenue
"went inside the house and noticed things (had been) moved around."
Police took a case report

How does the resident know that her live-in 35-year-old son didn’t just get a burst of energy and decide to do a little redecorating? Okay, never mind—pretty unlikely…

MAY 21, MONDAY

6:38 p.m. Someone "saw a weird message on a house" near Bancroft and Ninth streets in Berkeley, and called 911 to report it.

Okay, that’s just teasing—why can’t we know what the weird message was?

8:52 p.m. Multiple residents of got stuck in an elevator.

How is this a police matter? Sounds like a golden opportunity for some neighborly conversation to me.

MAY 22, TUESDAY

7:47 a.m. A caller had been walking near Albany Middle School 45 minutes earlier, toward El Cerrito Plaza, when a man in his late 20s or early 30s, wearing Army-type clothing "passed him yelling and screaming." Police were unable to locate him.

Since when is it against the law to yell and scream a little? How would parents let off steam if they couldn’t do a little shouting when the kids are driving them crazy?

9:43 a.m. Someone broke into a telephone room in the 400 block of Kains Avenue the prior day. The caller wasn't sure if anything was stolen.

What the heck is a telephone room? If someone has a whole room just for their telephone, and something is missing, wouldn’t it be the telephone? And if it’s missing, the caller wouldn’t be able to call, right? So what’s the problem here?

MAY 26, SATURDAY

9:28 a.m. Police were called about a man selling apples at the northeast corner of Jackson Street and Solano Avenue.
Authorities gave him a warning.

Because selling apples is an affront to the good people of Albany?

12:40 p.m. Someone called police about a woman in her 40s, at San Pablo and Solano avenues, wearing purple capri pants "yelling and screaming for no reason." Police were unable to find her.

Okay, first of all, how hard is it to find a woman in purple capris? And second, I’d be yelling too if I discovered I was wearing purple capris…

One day Tanya Grove will stop reading the Albany Police blotter but, until then, you will be stuck with her observations. If you’re a glutton for her observations, check out For Words.