The Cocktail Party

The Yummish Council recently held a meeting to discuss the weighty issue of politics in the media. Actually, it was more of an intervention – something about the way I mainline talk radio destroying my kidneys by causing an overproduction of bile*.

The Council first wanted to make it quite clear that the Yummish are in no way opposed to people being informed about the world in which they live. Being aware of the world around you is a fundamental Yummish value. How else can you appreciate the depth and breadth of yummy experiences available to you? If the Yummish Council had its way, more people would be well informed and engaged in this act of survival we call self-governance.

The problem, as the Yummish Council sees it, is not a matter of primary elections, but primary hues. We must end this blatant and disturbing abuse of color now! Every day our eyes are assaulted by unsightly maps tinted in clashing colors - raging red, beatnick blue, and perplexed purple. These images are disturbing to the Council, not just because they foster and further artificial divisions between us and suffocate any hope of shared Yum, but, frankly, because they aesthetically offensive. In a world of infinite digital color and soy based ink, why are we limiting ourselves to fewer options than offered up by even the smallest package of crayolas?

The more the Yummish Council explored the issue of pigment abuse in the media (meaning I sat in front of the tube flipping between cable news outlets, while surfing the NPR and Huffington Post websites and tweeting about which of the The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo movies** was better) the more hopeless it appeared. Everyone seemed to be shouting all of the time, even in print. We were left with the distinct impression that, with everyone talking at once, there was no one left to listen.

After making the always-wise decision to turn off the television, close the browser, and change the radio to the classical station, The Yummish Council decided to share a bottle (or two) of wine to help unclear our heads. In pouring the wine (a cheap merlot, but it got the job done) I became aware of its color. Held to the light, the true color was closer to purple. Oil on the glass left by my hand acted like a prism and as I turned the glass, the light broke out the rich indigo, the vibrant crimson, the almost black-greenness that made up the color the bottle described simply as “red.”

Nothing as complex as a human being can be represented by a single, flat tone. I, for one, could never define myself with just a single color, let alone a single hue of that color. I want pale blue for the sky, bright green for the hills, hot yellow for the sun. I need shades of grey. I am curious turquoise.

Like even my cheap wine, the more attention you pay to a person or an issue, the more you nuance you discover. So inspired, and possibly slightly intoxicated, the Yummish Council created the official political arm of the Yummish Movement – The Cocktail Party.

In future posts I will be sharing/making up more about The Cocktail Party, laying out our policies and agenda. However, given that it is Friday and I need to go to Trader Joe's for more cheap wine, this will have to suffice as an initial introduction to/apology for the cause.

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*There was also a side discussion about how best to pry the mug of hot caffeine out of my Vulcan death grip. Unfortunately little significant progress was made on that front and the Council eventually had to settle for a reasonably Yummish compromise. While it proved impossible to remove the coffee cup entirely, they discovered that it is possible to quickly swap it for a glass of wine, a la Indiana Jones. Score: Me 2, Kidneys 0

**Though I haven't actually seen the US remake, I am firm in my belief that the original Swedish films are superior. Noomi Rapace and forever!