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Health & Fitness

Blog: Tommy The Tapeworm—A New Kind Of Candidate

A Twenty-foot Tapeworm claims citizenship and runs for the Albany City Council.

An unintended consequence of Albany's recently enacted "Sperm and Ova Are Citizens" ordinance—Tommy the Tapeworm is determined to . He already has a lawyer, a PAC and a SuperPAC. "I'm much more a citizen than some blastocyte. I have a nervous system!"

Tapeworm's advisors admit that Tommy's years fattening himself up as an intestinal parasite might open him up to criticism, but they counter, "Those liberals are fighting class war! The Albany voters don't want to punish success."

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