You Can Just Say No

One of the things I often tell clients is "you can just say no".  No I am not a Nancy Reagan type substance abuse counselor but someone who specializes in helping people resolve their anxiety. I find that the ability to have good boundaries and be able to set limits with others is part of reducing anxiety.

Anxious people often worry a lot about what people think about them. It can paralyze them from making decisions and lead to hours or days of obsessive thinking about a decision. Part of this comes from a lack of healthy entitlement. My definition of healthy entitlement is being able to assert yourself and your needs. This doesn't mean your needs rule the day but it does mean when someone cuts in front of you in line at Trader Joe's you can say gently "Oh I was here first".

I find that many people struggle to say no when it is healthy for them to do so. They also struggle to justify why they are saying no. Which is why I remind them that just because they don't want to do something is a good enough reason to say no. You don't have to give a reason or create an excuse. No can be a complete sentence.

Cathy Hanville, LCSW is a Counselor with a practice in Albany, CA. She specializes in anxiety and trauma.
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