What the Lakers Should Do

On July 8th the Lakers announced their first free agent signing of the 2013 offseason. Thousands of Laker fans tuned into ESPN and NBA TV to see what marquee free agent the Lakers picked up. After all, the Lakers always attract the best players. The ESPN bottom line read, “The Lakers agree to a 1 year $3.2 million deal with center Chris Kaman.”

Wait, what? The Lakers are the most storied franchise in NBA history and their first free agent signing after losing Dwight Howard is Chris Kaman? That would be like the Yankees announcing their first free agent signing of the offseason is an old grumpy Travis Hafner. Oh wait…

Before Laker fans freak out, realize that Mitch Kupchak has a plan. I know you have ZERO faith in Jimmy Buss to execute this plan, but there is a plan in place that is intriguing.

You see, the Lakers have only one player signed for after the 2014 season and that is Steve Nash and his $9.7 million. Gasol, Kobe, and literally every other player are technically free agents after this upcoming season. Obviously they are going to resign Kobe. But the goal is to have virtually zero contracts and over $50 million in cap space for the 2014 offseason.

“But Huntley, why in the hell would we want to have all that cap space for 2014? What is so special about it?” Glad you asked random one of my 17 readers. The 2014 offseason is going to be insane. 2014 is the best NBA draft class since 2003 according to NBA experts. It’s a class led by Andrew Wiggins who people are comparing to Carmelo, and Jabari Parker. The Celtics and other teams are already tanking the 2013-2014 season so they can get a lottery pick in this draft.

Also the 2014 free agent class is unreal. Indiana star Paul George will be a free agent and the greatest player in the NBA by a pretty big margin LeBron James will be a free agent. Even though it is unrealistic, the Lakers are all in on LeBron. Think about it, the best and most marketable player in the NBA since Michael Jordan playing in Staples Center with Kobe Bryant. Good luck finding a ticket under $100 for those games.

There is one problem: Laker fans will likely not tolerate a season in which the Lakers are one of the worst 8 teams in basketball and understandably so. Laker tickets cost more than some used cars and they don’t want to pay to see Robert Sacre play 30 minutes per game. But I think the Lakers are planning on tanking the 2013-2014 season. At least the moves they have made so far indicate so.

They signed Chris Kaman for crying out loud. Kaman was somehow a 2010 All Star with the Clippers. The TNT NBA Countdown crew has a segment called “Who He Play For?” where they ask the analysts what team an older player plays for and they have to guess. Chris Kaman is a perfect candidate for that game. How many people knew he played in Dallas in 2013? He is a 10 PPG and 5 RPG guy who plays passable defense and can make free throws. But he is a far cry from Dwight Howard who led the league in RPG last season at about 70% of his full strength. Oh and with Howard, the Lakers barely made the playoffs.

They sign former UCLA alumni Jordan Farmar who is a point guard with a career average of 2.8 assists per game. Not impressive. They are romancing Sasha Vujacic to return who spent 2012 in Turkey. He is a shooting guard with 5.6 PPG and 1.3 APG over his career. They might as well bring back other Laker alumni from previous bad seasons. Why not bring back Luke Walton or Mark “Mad Dog” Madsen? Or let Rick Fox play on a 10 day deal to draw the young lady fans who will drool over him? It’s a perfect plan.

They sign Nick Young who is one of the most entertaining players in the league. Young is from Reseda, California and played his college ball at USC. Swaggy P, Young’s self-given nickname, is entertaining because he will jack up a shot no matter how much time is on the shot clock or how many guys are covering him. He plays defense like a matador and his career high in assists is 1.4 per game but at least he is entertaining and has sweet hair.

The Laker tanking progress is in full swing. I don’t know if it is intentional or not but looking at the above moves it seems so. I expect the Lakers to add a few more guys who have been in the league 2 years too long and give them veteran’s minimum contracts for one year. Unfortunately, I don’t think the Lakers will tank the season on purpose. The worst thing that could happen is the Lakers are really bad and just miss the playoffs but are not bad enough to get a lottery pick. Sadly for Laker fans that is the most probable outcome.

So the 2013-2014 Lakers will be a team with its best player out until Christmas, a coach who hates the second best player, a point guard on the wrong side of 40, and 5 or 6 guys making league minimum. Hollywood could not have written a sadder basketball story.