The Lights were on…but was SCE at Home? Part II

So, this week, five -months and about $5.5-grand will have passed since I opened an envelope and discovered I owed Southern California Edison (SCE) $13,488.28.

Instead of a figurative pat on the back, fist bump, or “Fight on!” I had a reason to fight on. I received SCE’s “REMOVAL FROM THE COVID-19 SMALL BUSINESS RELIEF PAYMENT PLAN” on May 13, the day after I signed off on the sale of my dental practice, founded in January of 1976.

SCE required on-time payment of each current monthly bill and my account had two past due payments. The $13.2K punishment seemed harsh for someone who hadn’t missed a payment in 46-years. It seemed like SCE was beyond sensitive if you missed two payments that knocked you out of a program you hadn’t requested, didn’t know existed, and didn’t need.

SCE had always billed me with real paper, but there was no paper trail. When I went online to check payments my login didn’t work. SCE’s website, impersonating “Hal, the computer” from 2001 Space Odyssey, wouldn’t accept my email address nor even my decades old street address. Since receiving my REMOVAL letter, expecting results from SCE customer service has been like looking for a Russian cease fire coming straight outta Mar-a-Lago peace negotiations. But I deeply appreciated the one service rep who delivered a near out-of-body SCE experience as she carefully guided me through the website mine field/gauntlet and helped me login with an email address that was at least 10-years old. I went to “Payments.” My most recent payment date: May 5, 2020. Over 2-years had passed leading up to my Edison “Dear John” correspondence.

SCE had enrolled me into paperless billing. If only I had known. If only the power guys had sent me an email…to an address that existed just before the Obama Administration. I think a call, snail mail, a carrier pigeon, or even a smoke signal would’ve also sufficed.

I wrote a column, “The Lights were on…but was SCE at Home?” published it in Arcadia Patch.com, sent the link to the SCE VP of Customer Service, multi-purposed it to LinkedIn and shared it with a colleague. My DDS-type friend described the SCE legal department as a group of professionals large enough to fill SoFi Stadium (and always outnumbering Chargers fans); he suggested connecting with the California Public Utilities Commission (CPUC.) I filed a complaint…that would later turn out to be a non-complaint.

So, I’ve made calls to CPUC, had conversations, and aside from one representative (not mine) who took my call and then communicated directly with SCE (to no avail), the two organizations would seem beautifully coordinated. The theme has been no promise and less deliver. And I guess, in this case, consistency isn’t necessarily a virtue.

After four months of waiting for SCE to respond to CPUC and then for CPUC to deliver what I hoped would be a TKO to SCE, the CPUC CAB (Consumer Affairs Branch) delivered an inaccurate summary of my non-complaint and a paragraph summarizing SCE’s self-serving “investigation.” The ruling was significantly based on SCE’s interpretation of its own policy, including SCE Rule #9: Rendering and Payment of Bills. If I took exception to the ruling, I had 15-days to file an appeal with the CPUC contradicting the results of SCE’s “investigation.” 15-days elapsed before I could get any assistance from either organization. And I guess Rendering bills or follow through ain’t what they used to be.

The CPUC judged SCE not in violation of its or Edison’s rules. Incidentally, SCE no longer has a problem effectively emailing a reminder that I owe them $1,106.80 by the 16th of every month.

So, if you ever receive an Edison bill $13K or so more than you expected, you’re expletive out of luck. If you didn’t email an estimate to SCE requesting a statement from them, pandemic or not, don’t expect the CPUC’s CAB to come running, crawling, or motoring to the rescue.

When I was in dental school about a bazillion years ago, Ryan O’Neill and Ali McGraw starred in a movie where the theme was “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” And now, I understand the SCE-CPUC romantic mojo.

Next stop, KTLA or the LA Times. Does anyone out there have a connection?