Speak to the Phone

So, it all started a few years ago after I read The Secret, a book based on the belief in the Law of Attraction and the claim that thoughts can transform lives.

But first, some history. Growing up, my brother and only sibling was ten years older than me; and regarding the other little kids in my hood, one was sneaky and the other one played the violin. But I was creative and did just fine; never had even one imaginary best friend.

Seems like most of my eccentric behaviors started surfacing about a month into dental school but were more likely triggered by a bone breaking tricycle accident I sustained when I was a scant 3-years old.

All I remember is tipping over slowly like the shortest redwood of all time. As usual I was little kid cool…until Mom wondered out loud if an ambulance was in order. Having lost confidence in Mom, I moved into a meditation-like chant, rhythmically repeating, “I want my daddy.” And even ether couldn’t erase my curled lip sedated snarl. My parents were the best of the best, but in that compound fractured radius moment, I felt I wasn’t being heard.

So being heard seems to be a big deal for me. Being ignored only elevates my separation anxiety and breeds sarcasm. Maybe that’s why I love talking to me. And just like in The Secret, I appreciate stuff right out loud every morning as I head down Huntington Drive on the way to the office at 6AM.

For the last few months and for the first time, I’ve had a personal coach and I know that’s probably a euphemism for something slightly more clinical. My coach was handed down to me by our practice advisor who even paid for the first four sessions. Back in May, four of us attended my advisor’s community conference just outside of Scottsdale; and I guess he’d never heard a third person hallway soliloquy before (just kidding.) Being an accountable guy and a major inspiration in our creating a practice vision of helping 20,000 people become healthy and their own best complete health advocates by 2022 and understanding that I (just like Johnny Ringo in Tombstone) can be a little high strung, advisor Gary set me up for some meaningful conversations.

So last meeting with my personal coach David (who happens to be a very cool guy), I welcomed guidance regarding the little guy residing in the back of my head who never ignores me but mostly just talks trash. The little guy’s always saying stuff like, “Really, who do you think you are?” “What if none of your patients show up?” “Do you remember the last time you shanked a 7-iron?” “What happened to your eyebrows?” “Aren’t you way overdue for some serious writer’s block?”

And I thought I was making some progress, acknowledging the little guy and even hearing him out for a while before inviting him to eat kale and disappear. But since last Wednesday’s coaching session, I’ve been having full out conversations with my new best internal friend forever. And it could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship…if the little guy doesn’t turn out to be a UCLA fan.

Plus, for the last week I’ve been part of a social media marketing program, doing Facebook Live every day and speaking straight out to my iPhone self, held at arm’s length for considerable minutes at a time…and loving it. There’s just something therapeutic about me talking to me.

But I confess, I’m not so sure I’m 100% on where I’m going with all this self-conversation stuff. But if I’m looking in your direction and mumbling something like “Eat kale loser” please take a moment, don’t judge or take it personally, and try to understand…it’s not all about YOU! It's just me attempting to figure out me.