Caffeine Debt Deficiency

We love our coffee in Afghanistan.

And we get upset when our default coffee orders are unavailable.

Our lone coffee shop is called “Green Beans,” which is like Starbucks in the sense the shop over-roasts its beans. I’m a Dunkin’ Donuts man myself, but it’s not like I can run to the other end of Bagram Airfield to find one.

Green Beans is the only coffee-store chain for GIs in several Middle East countries, including my two stops in Iraq and Afghanistan. My favorite order is the “MOAC,” which stands for “Mother Of All Coffees.” I think it should stand for “Mother Of All Caffeine” considering it comes with four shots of espresso.

A MOAC keeps you lit and active for most of a 12-hour shift.

Most soldiers here are apparently into the frappes and smoothies. So much so, that the local coffee bar often has a sign next to the register saying they are out of the ever-popular “Fruit Smoothies” and “Vanilla Smoothies.”

As expected, at Green Beans and elsewhere, the ongoing budget debate in Washington is the top topic among soldiers. The No. 1 question is, “Are we going to get paid?” The topic is so pervasive that even the not-too-politically attuned soldiers are paying attention to the issue.

The debt debate was also an opportunity for some coffee-shop wags among us to express their frustrations about smoothie and budget deficits. Recently, a GI took his or her frustrations out on the ever-present Green Beans signs saying they were again out of smoothies by scribbling, “Due to the debt ceiling.”

A few people got a belly laugh. I got a jolt. The sign has been there for days.