Anger Over Airline Baggage Fees Growing: Bloomberg Business is reporting that anger among air travelers is growing this holiday season over what many feel are increasingly outrageous baggage fees. No kidding! Why American Airlines even tried to charge me a fee for all the emotional baggage I carry around with me.
Thief Steals Millions in Jewels During Christmas Tree Lighting: Police say a modern-day Grinch made off with more than $1 million in loot from a chic jewelry store in a Santa Fe marketplace during the city’s annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony. In a communique shortly after the robbery, the thief said he hopes to use the proceeds from the theft to help finance the “War on Christmas.”
Frank Gifford Suffered From CTE Brain Disease: Its been revealed that an autopsy on Frank Gifford, a Hall of Fame running back who was involved in one of the most brutal collisions in the N.F.L.’s history, was found to have had chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a degenerative brain disease. Come on, they didn’t need to run an autopsy to know he had serious brain damage - he married Kathie Lee didn’t he?
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Ted Cruz Claims Colorado Killer a Transgender Leftist Activist: Texas Senator Ted Cruz is claiming that the person who opened fire on a Planned Parenthood in Colorado was actually “registered as a woman and a transgender leftist activist.” Really? My question is, where would one go to register as a “transgender leftist activist?” One thing’s for sure, given the fact that he has 18-inch arms and a huge, raggedy beard, I doubt he’s gonna be asked to join Caitlyn Jenner on the Vanity Fair cover any time soon.
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Amish Man Runs Marathon in Traditional Slacks and Suspenders: A 22-year-old Amish man turned heads as he whizzed by fellow runners at a recent marathon and not because of his speed, but because he ran the race in the traditional Amish attire. Surprised onlookers say the guy seemed to be running really fast - right in the direction of the mid-19th century. At his request, race officials say they used a sundial to time his run.
Photo of Iceberg that Sank Titanic for Sale: A photo of what many believe to be the notorious iceberg that sunk the Titanic in 1912 is up for auction and expected to fetch between $15,000 and $20,000. OK, I’ve just taken a screenshot of the photo and l’m willing to start the bidding out low at around $250. On a side note, my friend’s a health-nut who who would claim iceberg lettuce is every bit just as deadly.
Cat Discovers Ancient Roman Ruin: Local officials say a man chasing his cat who had disappeared into a cave, stumbled upon an ancient tomb containing piles of bones and Roman urns dating from between the second century B.C. and the first century A.D. Archeologists say that out of respect, they dated all artifacts at the site using a CAT scan.
Clinton Wins Ironworkers’ Union Endorsement: Adding to her front-runner status in the race for her party’s U.S. presidential nomination, Democrat Hillary Clinton has just won the endorsement of the Ironworkers’ Union. Not to be outdone, the Bernie Sanders’ campaign announced they’ve just received the endorsement of the Carbon-Fiber Workers’ Union.
Ancient Armenian Winery Found: A UCLA-led team has discovered a 6000-year-old winery in a remote Armenian cave. The wine should be available for purchase at the low, low price of $8.99 a bottle at Trader Joe’s beginning early next week.
Small South Dakota Ghost Town for $250,000: A local real estate agent reports that for $250,000, you can buy the entire small ghost town of Swett, South Dakota. Unfortunately, I don’t have an extra 250 grand to go around buying small towns, but as they say, “don’t Swett the small stuff.” In related news, the Oakland Raiders are reportedly considering building a new stadium just outside of town.
