Welcome to the Navy Ma'am!

"Welcome to the Navy Ma'am!"

These are familiar words to many military wives who are greeted, after their wedding ceremonies, with a slap on the behind from a sword-wielding officer. At our wedding, guests (mostly civilians who had not been to a military wedding) laughed and cheered as my Navy pilot and I walked through the ceremonial sword arch. Though I had seen numerous sword arches, I too laughed joyously.

In retrospect, I should say, "I laughed naively" because, while those welcoming words may seem light-hearted to an outsider, any seasoned military wife can attest that they have weight—a lot of weight. For the military wife, saying "I do" to the handsome man in uniform at the altar also means saying "yes" to his service to the country. That moment marks the beginning of a lifestyle only other military families can really understand.

After we married in April 2010, I joined my husband in Coronado to start our journey as Lt. j.g. (not Mr.) and Mrs. I wasn't too nervous about my cross-country move. After all, we had just completed a six-month deployment that ended a mere two weeks before our wedding. I had seen it all, right? Again, naive. I was about to find out what it was like to wear the Navy wife nametag full time.

Within days, my dependent's ID (or military ID) took the place of my driver's license as my primary form of identification. I said goodbye to Whole Foods and Target and embraced the Base Commissary and Navy Exchange, where I shopped exclusively with other military families. When my husband asked me to drop him off before one of his shorter trips at sea (aka "underway"), I knew to set the alarm for 4:45 a.m. (written in our house as 0445). And I understood when he came home to tell me there had been a change of plans and he would be leaving for three weeks—during a time when he was supposed to be home. I did, however, panic when he told me we would be going to his squadron's "Dining Out" where he would be wearing his choker whites. Him in his choker whites meant he would look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun, so I needed to find a smashing dress!

On top of all this, there was the challenge of learning military language with all its numbers and acronyms. For example, in the civilian world, saying "my husband flies Navy helicopters" is sufficiently descriptive. In the military community, the follow-up questions are always: "Which one? Hotels, Foxtrots, Romeos or Bravos? Is he in an HS or HSC squadron? Does he perform SARs?" When I was asked these questions for the first time, my embarrassingly blank stare made me realize that I needed to learn the military language—stat!

With all these new changes, the biggest adjustment was learning that being in the Navy was not just a job that ended at 5 p.m. (I mean 1700!) sharp. Instead, it was a way of life, especially in Coronado. Living here blurred the lines, so that even beyond the base gates, our military life continued. I started going to Spouse Club Meetings. (What other job encourages spouses to get together?) My husband and I spent time with other Navy friends on the island and in Imperial Beach. We talked to each other using our language. We asked each other about deployments, underways and assignments. And we often met veterans who, despite the age difference, understood us like we had come from the same place.

And I liked it.

Slowly but surely, this military way of life became our way of life. This little island has become our home, and I've come to find a great sense of comfort in the common bond we share with the other families here. 

I hope this weekly column gives voice to the military community. In it, I'll share my personal experiences of being a Navy wife, plus some wisdom from more seasoned military wives. There will also be stories from veterans, health and lifestyle tips, and news that affects military families. Most importantly, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences.