Woodpecker Woods

Some hear the hammering social call of a woodpecker with all the affection usually reserved for the neighbor's teenager given his first set of drums. I hear them as miniature tree surgeons.   

Woodpeckers would have died off long ago if God's design team hadn't engineered the lilliputian avians for jackhammering. Their tiny brains are situated within their skull, maximizing surface contact while minimizing duration. This  shock absorption prevents concussion and confusion. A nictating membrane closes over the eyes, protecting eyes from flying wood debris like automatic goggles. Their slit-like nostrils are likewise protected with special feathers that activate as dust masks.

Woodpeckers spend  time walking up verticle poles and trunks with the ease of Spiderman. This required the birds to be equipped with Zygodactyl feet, consisting of four toes, oddly arranged. With the first and fourth toes facing backward and the second and third facing forward, it is as contorted as it is useful for vertical foraging.

Once a woodpecker has drilled its hole in a tree, it inserts its long, long tongue deep, wraps it around some bug and sucks up beetles, grubs, spiders and termites for dinner.  

Woodpeckers nest in the spring, but they have such a craving for acorns they will do an encore in the fall to harvest the autumn crop.

Woodpeckers are like whiskey: an aquired taste. Bottoms up!